The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark❮PDF / Epub❯ ☄ The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark Author William Shakespeare – Jobs-in-kingston.co.uk The Tragicall Historie of the Life and DNotRetrouvez The Tragicall Historie of the Life and D et des millions de livres en stock surAchetez neuf ou d occasionThe Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince The Tragicall Historie of the Historie of PDF ↠ Life and DNotRetrouvez The Tragicall Historie of the Life and D et des millions de livres en stock surAchetez neuf ou d occasionThe Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince ofNotRetrouvez The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmarke the First bad Quarto et des millions de livres en stock surAchetez neuf ou d occasionThe Tragicall Historie of the The Tragicall PDF or Life and DeathNotRetrouvez The Tragicall Historie of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus et des millions de livres en stock surAchetez neuf ou d occasion Carnet Libri Muti The Tragical Historie of Hamlet The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet est un carnet de notes dtournant un grand classique de la littrature anglaise reliure apparente et bord noir color la main Une ralisation trs Tragicall Historie of PDF/EPUB é soigne ne de la collaboration entre Slow Design et une imprimerie florentine Tragicall Historie of Dracula Teaser YouTube Published on Aug ,This Halloween, join our livestream of the Tragicall Historie of Dracula, anew blank verse tragedy in the style of Shakespeare brought to you by Have Bard, Will Travel The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet Wikipdia The Tragicall History of Romeus and Juliet est un pome narratif, publi pour la premire fois enpar Arthur Brooke, qui annonait l avoir traduit partir d une uvre de Matteo Bandello, Romeo e Giulietta Romeus and Juliet servit vraisemblablement de source principale pour la pice de thtre de William Shakespeare Romo et Juliette. Hamlet, abridged:

GHOST/DAD: Hamlet, your uncle killed me and married your mom. I want vengeance, so best get to murdering, plzthnx.

HAMLET: EEK!

OPHELIA: Hamlet, are you okay?

HAMLET: Get away from me, skankwhore!

OPHELIA: WTF? *goes from zero to crazy like that*

GERTRUDE: Kid, you need therapy.

HAMLET: And you need to be less of AN ADULTEROUS WHORE!

POLONIUS: OMG so rude!

HAMLET: Eavesdropping? I KEEL YOU!

*play goes on hold while Hamlet talks to skeletons*

LAERTES: You killed my dad and drove my sister to suicide, you jerk! I challenge you to a duel!

HAMLET: I KEEL YOU!

CLAUDIUS: MWAHAHAHA! I put poison in your goblet, Hamlet!

GERTRUDE: Yum, poisoned wine. *dies*

CLAUDIUS: Whoops, my bad.

HAMLET: I KEEL YOU!

GHOST/DAD: Wow, nice job son. Except for the part where you're bleeding all over my castle.

HAMLET: Ah, dammit. *dies*


And then the even more abridged version:

ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES.

The end.

Really, what's not to love?

Read for: 12th grade AP English

BONUS (courtesy of Married to the Sea, a webcomic you should probably read on a regular basis):
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/021306


BONUS BONUS: Speaking of Ophelia

I don't have any earth-shattering insights to share from this most recent of god-knows-how-many readings, but this time through I was struck by:

1) what a damn fine piece of stagecraft this is, from the suspenseful, moody opening on the castle battlements to the solemn dead march carrying the prince offstage, and

2) how Shakespeare seems to want Hamlet's personality--particularly the wellspring of his actions (and lack of action)--to remain an enigma, and that he achieves this by infusing the character with so much of himself--so much wit and poetry, so much despondency and savagery--that the result is that the audience simply bows before the great mystery of human personality, and that this reverence for the unknown lurking in the heart of an extraordinary man intensifies the sense of pity, horror and waste that fills us at the end of the play. The Skinhead Hamlet - Shakespeare's play translated into modern English. By Richard Curtis. Yes, that Richard Curtis!

Note : those offended by the F word - LOOK AWAY NOW! And Georgia, if you've stumbled on this review by your funny old dad - this is ANOTHER Paul Bryant. Not me!

*********

ACT I
SCENE I
The Battlements of Elsinore Castle.

[Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST:]

GHOST: Oi! Mush!

HAMLET: Yer?

GHOST: I was fucked!

[Exit GHOST:]

HAMLET: O Fuck.

[Exit HAMLET:]

SCENE II
The Throneroom.

[Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT:]

CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!

HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?

[Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT:]

HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.

[Enter HORATIO:]

HORATIO: Oi! Watcha cock!

HAMLET: Weeeeey!

[Exeunt:]

SCENE III
Ophelia's Bedroom.

[Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES:]

LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.

OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.

[Exeunt:]

SCENE IV
The Battlements.

[Enter HORATIO, HAMLET and GHOST.:]

GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!

HAMLET: Who did it then?

GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my fucking ear!

HAMLET: Fuck me!

[Exeunt.:]

ACT II
SCENE I
A corridor in the castle.

[Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS.:]

POLONIUS: Oi! You!

HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!

[Exit POLONIUS. Enter ROSENCRANZ and GUILDENSTERN.:]

ROS & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!

HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!

[Exit ROS & GUILD.:]

HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.

[Enter OPHELIA.:]

OPHELIA: My Lord!

HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!

[They exit in different directions.:]

ACT III
SCENE I
The Throne Room.

[Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.:]

FIRST PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart


CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.

[Exeunt.:]

SCENE II
Gertrude's Bedchamber.

[Enter GERTRUDE and POLONIUS, who hides behind an arras.:]

[Enter HAMLET.:]

HAMLET: Oi! Slag!

GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!

POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.

HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?

[He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.:]

POLONIUS: Fuck!

[POLONIUS dies.:]

HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.

[Exeunt.:]

ACT IV
SCENE I
A Court Room.

[Enter HAMLET, CLAUDIUS.:]

CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!

HAMLET: Delighted, mush.

SCENE II
The Throne Room.

[Enter OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.:]

OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.

[She hands GERTRUDE some rosemary and exits.:]

CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?

GERTRUDE: (Looking out the window.) There is a willow grows aslant the brook.

CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.

GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!

CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.

[Exeunt.:]

SCENE III
A Corridor.

[Enter LAERTES.:]

LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.

[Enter CLAUDIUS.:]

CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker Hamlet.

LAERTES: Well, fuck him.

[Exeunt.:]

ACT V
SCENE I
Hamlet's Bedchamber.

[Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.:]

HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

[Exeunt.:]

SCENE II
Large Hall.

[Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, CLAUDIUS.:]

LAERTES: Oi, wanker: let's get on with it.

HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.

[They fight and both are poisoned by the poisoned sword.:]

LAERTES: Fuck!

HAMLET: Fuck!

[The QUEEN drinks.:]

GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!

CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!

[GERTRUDE dies.:]

HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS'S throat) Well, fuck you!

CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.

[CLAUDIUS dies.:]

LAERTES: Oi, mush: no hard feelings, eh?

HAMLET: Yer.

[LAERTES dies.:]

HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!

HORATIO: Yer?

HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.

[HAMLET dies.:]

HORATIO: Fuck: that was no ordinary wanker, you know.

[Enter FORTINBRAS.:]

FORTINBRAS: What the fuck's going on here?

HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.

FORTINBRAS: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.

HORATIO: Yer.

FORTINBRAS: Fucking shame: fucking good bloke.

HORATIO: Too fucking right.

FORTINBRAS: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.

[Exeunt with alarums.:]
shakespeare when pitching this play, probably: this is my OC hamlet. hes a prince. hes bisexual. hes moody, brooding, and is anywhere between the ages of 16 to 30 years old. and no, i am not taking constructive criticism.

well, let me tell you what. im sold! i love hamlet. i love his angsty monologues. i love his sassy remarks. i love that he cant seem to shut up. i love his relationship with horatio. i love everything about him avoiding osric and his hat. i love that hes OTT and i seriously cant get enough.

also, for those of you who have read this, watch this. its great.

↠ 4.5 stars Updated review February 2017:
This is my third time reading Hamlet and, like a fine wine
you know the rest. I read the same copy I've had lying around for years with one page of notes on the left and the play on the right. This time I was able to read most of the play without notes which was pretty awesome. Just had to glance over to figure out what some of the words meant, but I actually got the story this time. It's taken me three tries with a book that helps me cheat, but boy oh boy I finally got this down.

It's beautiful! I loved it! It really hits a variety of genres and kept me turning the pages. It was weird
I read it pretty slowly to breathe in the language and take my time with it, even reading it out loud at times until my wife made me shut up. I tried to get her to play the female parts, but she wasn't feeling it. I guess she really just had the Queen of Ophelia so her options were limited. But yeah, I read it slowly but it also seemed to fly by at the same time.

Hamlet is a very complex guy who goes through a range of emotions as the story unfolds. His monologues are just really great poetry that I wish I could memorize and just belt out randomly on a street corner or while I'm in the grocery store contemplating another unhealthy snack. To be or not to be
I loved the monologues. I loved when things just went nuts at times. The ending was just crazy and awesome. It's just a daggum fantastic story, and you should give it a shot if you haven't already. Find a copy that helps you and breaks down the language and all that. It's good.

I've got Macbeth on the shelf, too. Might be time to revisit it and then tackle more Shakespeare. I've gotta be in the right mindset though. Can't just be reading all this nonsense all the time. I have real books waiting to be read, too. Books with real words and stuff.



Previous review:
I once asked a friend of mine if he liked Shakespeare to which he responded, I don't dislike Shakespeare. That's exactly how I feel about him, too.

In high school I was forced to read Romeo and Juliet and Julius Caesar. My thoughts on Shakespeare haven't really changed much in the past 15 years. His stories are great, but they were written so long ago that it's not always fun to read. I appreciate the hell out of the guy, but he will never be my first choice (or second or third) when I'm looking for something new to read.

That being said, this was my favorite play to read through. Maybe I'm older now and find it easier and more enjoyable to read this stuff for pleasure rather than because I may have a pop quiz over the third act. I thought the story was fantastic and was surprised by how many lines I recognized from just being a human and dabbling in a little bit of culture every now and then.

Would I have ever read this if it wasn't being read in a group to prepare for Infinite Jest? Nope. But, I did and I'm glad I took the time to do it. Here's the thing about Hamlet: if you see it and you hate it, you saw a terrible Hamlet. I don't care if it's given critical acclaim - fuck off, Kenneth Branagh - Hamlet is supposed to be compelling, and if you didn't find the character compelling, that actor didn't do their job. You need a Hamlet who knows the character, not a Hamlet who wants to do grace to the character or some shit.

Here's the thing: I used to hate this play. Not lowkey hate, I fucking despised it. I thought it was boring and overrated and most of all, I thought Hamlet was a dick and a boring character. And then everything changed when the fire nation attacked when I saw Santa Cruz Shakespeare's 2016 production of Hamlet, starring actress Kate Eastwood Norris as Hamlet.

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(CHECK OUT HER AND OPHELIA ON THE RIGHT!! THE BLACK COAT AND PURPLE DRESS!! IF ANY OF Y'ALL HAVE A DUBIOUSLY LEGAL RECORDING OF THIS SHIT PLEASE LINK ME)

I loved it. Not only did I love it; I loved it so much that my entire interpretation of the character changed. I keep using she/her pronouns to describe Hamlet because that actress has literally replaced the character in my head. And that is what Hamlet should be about. That is how you should feel after you watch a truly great production. You should feel like you've been inwardly changed as a person. You should also probably have cried at least once.


// HI GUYS. HERE ARE MY CHARACTER PERFORMANCE OPINIONS. HAVE FUN

➽ In general, every character's pain should matter. Every character needs to matter, every character needs to make you feel.

➽ Hamlet shouldn't be an asshole. Hamlet is a very complex character, and yeah, he does a lot of screwing around with people. But his interactions with Horatio, all his interactions excluding Claudius in 1.2, his love letter to Ophelia, and other's descriptions of his newfound madness as being out of character paint a very different picture. It is not compelling to watch an asshole be an asshole for four hours. You know what's far more compelling? A kind young man struggling with grief and anger, informed suddenly that he must become cruel and unkind.

Let's put emphasis on the “young” part. If you accept the first folio as real, the only line referring to his age establishes him as 20 at most. It is the second folio where the same line is changed to referring to a 23-year period since Yoric's death, rather than a 12-year period. As a result, the idea that he's thirty probably comes from dialogue changes as the Hamlet actor aged. I know no one read this, but Hamlet should be a teenager.

➽ A lot of people think of Ophelia's character as this very innocent virgin and I'm going to utterly disagree. Ophelia's character is about agency. Her character is doubted by all the other characters, yet keeps to her guns and continuously sticks up for herself. So many adaptations of this show will take away her agency and give it to the other characters, making her final mad scene seem silly and out of place. Do not let the narrative take her agency away. Emphasize her inner turmoil! Build up her ending madness!

On a related note: if scene 3.1 between Hamlet and Ophelia didn't make you cry, I'm vetoing it. You are supposed to care about these two characters, both separately and together. You are supposed to feel both of their pains. You are not, not, not supposed to only care for Hamlet because of his blinding angst over his girlfriend. Give this moment to Ophelia. Give her the agency she deserves.

➽ Give the villains characterization too. It is so, so important to get Gertrude right. One of the best scenes in this entire show, to me, is the closet scene between Gertrude and Hamlet. But you have to make Gertrude's character interesting. Her pain has to matter as much as anyone else's.

In general, y'all suck at portraying Claudius. He's obviously a bit of a smart villain in contrast to his heroic older brother, but that's not the extent of his characterization. Claudius is, in actuality, somewhat of a clever political player. You shouldn't love him, but if you hate him, this will not be as interesting a play.

VERDICT: I fucking love this show. Please watch it before you read it because it's not as good unless you've seen a really good production. Save yourself and skip Branagh - Tennant's a little better, actually.

Blog | Goodreads | Twitter | Youtube I bought a skull as my only prop for Halloween dress-up, and I hope someone will recognise that I will be Hamlet. As spontaneous actions always need to be followed by bookish contemplation for full satisfaction, I am preparing for the event by rereading the whole play.

Somewhere in the middle I started laughing at Hamlet's advice to Ophelia: To the nunnery! For who wants to end up a breeder of sinners? I rejoiced at the fact that fake news are as old as the rotten state of states in general, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern made my day, several times. I loved the play inside the play, and what it tells us of Shakespeare's idea regarding the power of literature to move and affect people on the deepest level.

I quite coldly skim the overquoted to be or not to be, and stop cold at Faith! Her privates we.

Her privates we? Meaning the middle parts of fortune? I have Manning's book at home, and I have been meaning to read it forever, and I didn't have a clue that the title was a quote from Hamlet, and that it referred to female genitals.

I am not even at the point yet in the play where my skull makes an appearance, alas Yorick!, but I have already started a new book based on my rereading of Hamlet.

That is what happens to readers, - stories affect them, they react, and that reaction generates new action, followed by new stories, in eternity - a precious circle. That's Hamlet. Hamlet is human in a rotten state. Who knows whether he is insane or not? I guess it depends on who you ask.

I am still feeling kind towards him. Ophelia's fate is still in the future, as is the cathartic show effect of taking up the bodies to the stage.

When going to bed later, after finishing the last acts, Maestro Shakespeare may be out of my favour again.

But that is another story
Is it possible that I had only read the first 4 scenes and Hamlet already became one of my favorite male characters ever? YES!
Why?
He’s constantly wearing black and monologuing about how literally everything is hard and making everything more dramatic then it is, is so ME!?

And this is considered a tragedy (which in some ways it is) but I found it so funny (probably because I have a dark soul) and I will definitely reread this at any given moment of peace.

I absolutely loved this play, and I’m so happy that now I can say that I have read Shakespeare!

I’m a cultured woman now y’all. 🙌😂

Shakespeare is an adept poet and master of the language. He layers on jokes, puns, and references everywhere. He has a massive output of work, and a number of different plots. When we compare him to other authors, it is difficult to find anyone who stacks up--but then, we're often comparing him to the wrong people.

Shakespeare didn't write books or pamphlets or epics, he wrote plays: short pieces of drama that were meant to be fast-paced and exciting. That they are mainly experienced today as bound books and not theatrical productions does not change their origins. If one wants to look at the achievements of Shakespeare, he should be compared to someone of a similar bent.

He should be compared with prolific writers known for catchy jokes and phrases. Writers who reuse old plots, making fun of their traditions. Writers of work meant to be performed. Writers who aim for the lowest common denominator, while still including the occasional high-minded political commentary. He should be compared to the writers of South Park; or the Simpsons; or MAD Magazine.

Shakespeare was meant to be lowbrow and political, but now it only reads that way to those who are well-educated enough to understand his language, reference, and the political scene of the time. If you do know the period lingo, then his plays are just as filthy as any episode of South Park.

For example, the word 'wit' refers to a fellow's manhood (this one comes up a lot), here's an example from Much Ado About Nothing:

Don Pedro: I said that thou hadst a great wit. Yay, said she, a great gross one. Nay, say I, a fine wit. Yay, said she, a fine little one. Nay, said I, a good wit. Just, said she, it hurts nobody.

Plus there's the title of that play, which references the fact that 'nothing' was slang for a woman's maidenhead, which occurs also in Hamlet:
Hamlet: That's a fair thought to lie between a maid's legs.
Ophelia: What is, my lord?
Hamlet: Nothing.

He was also not one to pass up a good cunt joke.

Shakespeare often refers to mythology because that was the standard pool of reference for authors at the time. Family Guy references 1980's pop culture. Is that any less esoteric? How esoteric will Mr. T be after 400 years (assuming he doesn't find his way into the latest testament of the bible anytime soon)?

Additionally, all of Shakespeare's magnificent plots were lifted, sometimes whole cloth, from other books and histories, just like how sit coms reuse 'episode types' or borrow plots from popular movies. Shakespeare was not quite as visionary or deep as he is often given credit for. Rather, he was always so indistinct with the motives and thoughts of his characters that two critics could assign two completely different and conflicting motives, but find both equally well-supported.

Is Shylock evil because he's a Jew, evil despite the fact, or evil because of the effects of racism on him? You can make a case for all three. Marlowe (the more practised and precise writer) never left interpretation to chance, and where has it gotten him?

Shakespeare was an inspired and prolific author, and his effect on writing and talent for aphorism cannot be overstated. I think he probably wrote the King James version because it is so pretty. However, he is not the be-all and end-all of writing.

His popularity and central position in the canon comes mainly from the fact that you can write anything you like about his plays. Critics and professors don't have to scramble, or even leave their comfort zone. Shakespeare's work is opaque enough that it rejects no particular interpretation. No matter your opinions, you can find them reflected in Shakespeare; or at least, not outright refuted.

His is a grey world, and his lack of agenda leaves us pondering what he could possibly have been like as a person. His indirect approach makes his writing the perfect representation of an unsure, unjust world. No one is really right or wrong, and even if they were, there would be no way to prove it.

I don't know whether this makes him the most or least poignant of writers. Is the author's absence from the stories the most rarefied example of the craft, or is it just lighthearted pandering? Either way, he's still a clever, amusing, insightful, and helplessly dirty fellow. “Madness in great ones must not unwatch’d go.”

I don’t know what to say about Hamlet. I could go on about how it is a story of madness and revenge. I could talk about the bonds of family loyalty, the sacrifices of love, the breaches of trust and their deleterious effects on the psyche. But this is old news—Hamlet has been around for over four hundred years. What could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said?

When my wife saw I was reading Shakespeare, her snippy comment went something like, “What are you reading that for? Don’t you you have enough drama in your life?” Which, thanks Cristina, and yes I suppose I do, but what of it? Drama can be so much freaking fun. There is a reason it sells, a reason there are countless dramatic television shows on the air, countless box office films released each year rehashing the same old dramatic plotlines (some to great effect; others, not so much). And there is a reason people are still reading Shakespeare centuries upon centuries after his death: they are fun, they are witty, they are ever so dramatic.

Hamlet is no exception. With plot elements involving fratricide, lethal potions, mistaken identity, forgery of correspondence, espionage and treachery, along with a solid dose of hanging out with the ghosts of dead relatives, one could imagine I’m reviewing an episode of General Hospital. But what is Hamlet if not a soap opera for the Elizabethans? It is an epically tragic train wreck crammed into five tiny acts.

What makes this piece of drama so timeless, though, is that its action is served in such perfect complement by its depiction of character. We all know what Prince Hamlet is going to do before he does it. Hamlet himself, even while doubting his abilities and struggling with his resolve, knows how it’s going to all play out. Why else would he be so cruel to Ophelia? And yet it is this internal turmoil that fuels our interest in the action. It might seem like an ordinary train wreck at its surface, but upon deeper inspection it is a train wreck in whose conductors and engineers we have a vested interest.

So, witty discourse meets fast-paced drama meets penetrating character introspection? It almost makes me wonder what would have become of Luke and Laura had William Shakespeare been in charge of the script.

The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
    The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark Juliet est un pome narratif, publi pour la premire fois enpar Arthur Brooke, qui annonait l avoir traduit partir d une uvre de Matteo Bandello, Romeo e Giulietta Romeus and Juliet servit vraisemblablement de source principale pour la pice de thtre de William Shakespeare Romo et Juliette. Hamlet, abridged:

    GHOST/DAD: Hamlet, your uncle killed me and married your mom. I want vengeance, so best get to murdering, plzthnx.

    HAMLET: EEK!

    OPHELIA: Hamlet, are you okay?

    HAMLET: Get away from me, skankwhore!

    OPHELIA: WTF? *goes from zero to crazy like that*

    GERTRUDE: Kid, you need therapy.

    HAMLET: And you need to be less of AN ADULTEROUS WHORE!

    POLONIUS: OMG so rude!

    HAMLET: Eavesdropping? I KEEL YOU!

    *play goes on hold while Hamlet talks to skeletons*

    LAERTES: You killed my dad and drove my sister to suicide, you jerk! I challenge you to a duel!

    HAMLET: I KEEL YOU!

    CLAUDIUS: MWAHAHAHA! I put poison in your goblet, Hamlet!

    GERTRUDE: Yum, poisoned wine. *dies*

    CLAUDIUS: Whoops, my bad.

    HAMLET: I KEEL YOU!

    GHOST/DAD: Wow, nice job son. Except for the part where you're bleeding all over my castle.

    HAMLET: Ah, dammit. *dies*


    And then the even more abridged version:

    ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES.

    The end.

    Really, what's not to love?

    Read for: 12th grade AP English

    BONUS (courtesy of Married to the Sea, a webcomic you should probably read on a regular basis):
    http://www.marriedtothesea.com/021306


    BONUS BONUS: Speaking of Ophelia

    I don't have any earth-shattering insights to share from this most recent of god-knows-how-many readings, but this time through I was struck by:

    1) what a damn fine piece of stagecraft this is, from the suspenseful, moody opening on the castle battlements to the solemn dead march carrying the prince offstage, and

    2) how Shakespeare seems to want Hamlet's personality--particularly the wellspring of his actions (and lack of action)--to remain an enigma, and that he achieves this by infusing the character with so much of himself--so much wit and poetry, so much despondency and savagery--that the result is that the audience simply bows before the great mystery of human personality, and that this reverence for the unknown lurking in the heart of an extraordinary man intensifies the sense of pity, horror and waste that fills us at the end of the play. The Skinhead Hamlet - Shakespeare's play translated into modern English. By Richard Curtis. Yes, that Richard Curtis!

    Note : those offended by the F word - LOOK AWAY NOW! And Georgia, if you've stumbled on this review by your funny old dad - this is ANOTHER Paul Bryant. Not me!

    *********

    ACT I
    SCENE I
    The Battlements of Elsinore Castle.

    [Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST:]

    GHOST: Oi! Mush!

    HAMLET: Yer?

    GHOST: I was fucked!

    [Exit GHOST:]

    HAMLET: O Fuck.

    [Exit HAMLET:]

    SCENE II
    The Throneroom.

    [Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT:]

    CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!

    HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?

    [Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT:]

    HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.

    [Enter HORATIO:]

    HORATIO: Oi! Watcha cock!

    HAMLET: Weeeeey!

    [Exeunt:]

    SCENE III
    Ophelia's Bedroom.

    [Enter OPHELIA and LAERTES:]

    LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you one while I'm gone.

    OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.

    [Exeunt:]

    SCENE IV
    The Battlements.

    [Enter HORATIO, HAMLET and GHOST.:]

    GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!

    HAMLET: Who did it then?

    GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my fucking ear!

    HAMLET: Fuck me!

    [Exeunt.:]

    ACT II
    SCENE I
    A corridor in the castle.

    [Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS.:]

    POLONIUS: Oi! You!

    HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!

    [Exit POLONIUS. Enter ROSENCRANZ and GUILDENSTERN.:]

    ROS & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!

    HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!

    [Exit ROS & GUILD.:]

    HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.

    [Enter OPHELIA.:]

    OPHELIA: My Lord!

    HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!

    [They exit in different directions.:]

    ACT III
    SCENE I
    The Throne Room.

    [Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.:]

    FIRST PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart


    CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.

    [Exeunt.:]

    SCENE II
    Gertrude's Bedchamber.

    [Enter GERTRUDE and POLONIUS, who hides behind an arras.:]

    [Enter HAMLET.:]

    HAMLET: Oi! Slag!

    GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!

    POLONIUS: (From behind the curtain) Too right.

    HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?

    [He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.:]

    POLONIUS: Fuck!

    [POLONIUS dies.:]

    HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.

    [Exeunt.:]

    ACT IV
    SCENE I
    A Court Room.

    [Enter HAMLET, CLAUDIUS.:]

    CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!

    HAMLET: Delighted, mush.

    SCENE II
    The Throne Room.

    [Enter OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.:]

    OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.

    [She hands GERTRUDE some rosemary and exits.:]

    CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?

    GERTRUDE: (Looking out the window.) There is a willow grows aslant the brook.

    CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.

    GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!

    CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.

    [Exeunt.:]

    SCENE III
    A Corridor.

    [Enter LAERTES.:]

    LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.

    [Enter CLAUDIUS.:]

    CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker Hamlet.

    LAERTES: Well, fuck him.

    [Exeunt.:]

    ACT V
    SCENE I
    Hamlet's Bedchamber.

    [Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.:]

    HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.

    [Exeunt.:]

    SCENE II
    Large Hall.

    [Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, CLAUDIUS.:]

    LAERTES: Oi, wanker: let's get on with it.

    HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.

    [They fight and both are poisoned by the poisoned sword.:]

    LAERTES: Fuck!

    HAMLET: Fuck!

    [The QUEEN drinks.:]

    GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!

    CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!

    [GERTRUDE dies.:]

    HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS'S throat) Well, fuck you!

    CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.

    [CLAUDIUS dies.:]

    LAERTES: Oi, mush: no hard feelings, eh?

    HAMLET: Yer.

    [LAERTES dies.:]

    HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!

    HORATIO: Yer?

    HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.

    [HAMLET dies.:]

    HORATIO: Fuck: that was no ordinary wanker, you know.

    [Enter FORTINBRAS.:]

    FORTINBRAS: What the fuck's going on here?

    HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.

    FORTINBRAS: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.

    HORATIO: Yer.

    FORTINBRAS: Fucking shame: fucking good bloke.

    HORATIO: Too fucking right.

    FORTINBRAS: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.

    [Exeunt with alarums.:]
    shakespeare when pitching this play, probably: this is my OC hamlet. hes a prince. hes bisexual. hes moody, brooding, and is anywhere between the ages of 16 to 30 years old. and no, i am not taking constructive criticism.

    well, let me tell you what. im sold! i love hamlet. i love his angsty monologues. i love his sassy remarks. i love that he cant seem to shut up. i love his relationship with horatio. i love everything about him avoiding osric and his hat. i love that hes OTT and i seriously cant get enough.

    also, for those of you who have read this, watch this. its great.

    ↠ 4.5 stars Updated review February 2017:
    This is my third time reading Hamlet and, like a fine wine
    you know the rest. I read the same copy I've had lying around for years with one page of notes on the left and the play on the right. This time I was able to read most of the play without notes which was pretty awesome. Just had to glance over to figure out what some of the words meant, but I actually got the story this time. It's taken me three tries with a book that helps me cheat, but boy oh boy I finally got this down.

    It's beautiful! I loved it! It really hits a variety of genres and kept me turning the pages. It was weird
    I read it pretty slowly to breathe in the language and take my time with it, even reading it out loud at times until my wife made me shut up. I tried to get her to play the female parts, but she wasn't feeling it. I guess she really just had the Queen of Ophelia so her options were limited. But yeah, I read it slowly but it also seemed to fly by at the same time.

    Hamlet is a very complex guy who goes through a range of emotions as the story unfolds. His monologues are just really great poetry that I wish I could memorize and just belt out randomly on a street corner or while I'm in the grocery store contemplating another unhealthy snack. To be or not to be
    I loved the monologues. I loved when things just went nuts at times. The ending was just crazy and awesome. It's just a daggum fantastic story, and you should give it a shot if you haven't already. Find a copy that helps you and breaks down the language and all that. It's good.

    I've got Macbeth on the shelf, too. Might be time to revisit it and then tackle more Shakespeare. I've gotta be in the right mindset though. Can't just be reading all this nonsense all the time. I have real books waiting to be read, too. Books with real words and stuff.



    Previous review:
    I once asked a friend of mine if he liked Shakespeare to which he responded, I don't dislike Shakespeare. That's exactly how I feel about him, too.

    In high school I was forced to read Romeo and Juliet and Julius Caesar. My thoughts on Shakespeare haven't really changed much in the past 15 years. His stories are great, but they were written so long ago that it's not always fun to read. I appreciate the hell out of the guy, but he will never be my first choice (or second or third) when I'm looking for something new to read.

    That being said, this was my favorite play to read through. Maybe I'm older now and find it easier and more enjoyable to read this stuff for pleasure rather than because I may have a pop quiz over the third act. I thought the story was fantastic and was surprised by how many lines I recognized from just being a human and dabbling in a little bit of culture every now and then.

    Would I have ever read this if it wasn't being read in a group to prepare for Infinite Jest? Nope. But, I did and I'm glad I took the time to do it. Here's the thing about Hamlet: if you see it and you hate it, you saw a terrible Hamlet. I don't care if it's given critical acclaim - fuck off, Kenneth Branagh - Hamlet is supposed to be compelling, and if you didn't find the character compelling, that actor didn't do their job. You need a Hamlet who knows the character, not a Hamlet who wants to do grace to the character or some shit.

    Here's the thing: I used to hate this play. Not lowkey hate, I fucking despised it. I thought it was boring and overrated and most of all, I thought Hamlet was a dick and a boring character. And then everything changed when the fire nation attacked when I saw Santa Cruz Shakespeare's 2016 production of Hamlet, starring actress Kate Eastwood Norris as Hamlet.

    description
    (CHECK OUT HER AND OPHELIA ON THE RIGHT!! THE BLACK COAT AND PURPLE DRESS!! IF ANY OF Y'ALL HAVE A DUBIOUSLY LEGAL RECORDING OF THIS SHIT PLEASE LINK ME)

    I loved it. Not only did I love it; I loved it so much that my entire interpretation of the character changed. I keep using she/her pronouns to describe Hamlet because that actress has literally replaced the character in my head. And that is what Hamlet should be about. That is how you should feel after you watch a truly great production. You should feel like you've been inwardly changed as a person. You should also probably have cried at least once.


    // HI GUYS. HERE ARE MY CHARACTER PERFORMANCE OPINIONS. HAVE FUN

    ➽ In general, every character's pain should matter. Every character needs to matter, every character needs to make you feel.

    ➽ Hamlet shouldn't be an asshole. Hamlet is a very complex character, and yeah, he does a lot of screwing around with people. But his interactions with Horatio, all his interactions excluding Claudius in 1.2, his love letter to Ophelia, and other's descriptions of his newfound madness as being out of character paint a very different picture. It is not compelling to watch an asshole be an asshole for four hours. You know what's far more compelling? A kind young man struggling with grief and anger, informed suddenly that he must become cruel and unkind.

    Let's put emphasis on the “young” part. If you accept the first folio as real, the only line referring to his age establishes him as 20 at most. It is the second folio where the same line is changed to referring to a 23-year period since Yoric's death, rather than a 12-year period. As a result, the idea that he's thirty probably comes from dialogue changes as the Hamlet actor aged. I know no one read this, but Hamlet should be a teenager.

    ➽ A lot of people think of Ophelia's character as this very innocent virgin and I'm going to utterly disagree. Ophelia's character is about agency. Her character is doubted by all the other characters, yet keeps to her guns and continuously sticks up for herself. So many adaptations of this show will take away her agency and give it to the other characters, making her final mad scene seem silly and out of place. Do not let the narrative take her agency away. Emphasize her inner turmoil! Build up her ending madness!

    On a related note: if scene 3.1 between Hamlet and Ophelia didn't make you cry, I'm vetoing it. You are supposed to care about these two characters, both separately and together. You are supposed to feel both of their pains. You are not, not, not supposed to only care for Hamlet because of his blinding angst over his girlfriend. Give this moment to Ophelia. Give her the agency she deserves.

    ➽ Give the villains characterization too. It is so, so important to get Gertrude right. One of the best scenes in this entire show, to me, is the closet scene between Gertrude and Hamlet. But you have to make Gertrude's character interesting. Her pain has to matter as much as anyone else's.

    In general, y'all suck at portraying Claudius. He's obviously a bit of a smart villain in contrast to his heroic older brother, but that's not the extent of his characterization. Claudius is, in actuality, somewhat of a clever political player. You shouldn't love him, but if you hate him, this will not be as interesting a play.

    VERDICT: I fucking love this show. Please watch it before you read it because it's not as good unless you've seen a really good production. Save yourself and skip Branagh - Tennant's a little better, actually.

    Blog | Goodreads | Twitter | Youtube I bought a skull as my only prop for Halloween dress-up, and I hope someone will recognise that I will be Hamlet. As spontaneous actions always need to be followed by bookish contemplation for full satisfaction, I am preparing for the event by rereading the whole play.

    Somewhere in the middle I started laughing at Hamlet's advice to Ophelia: To the nunnery! For who wants to end up a breeder of sinners? I rejoiced at the fact that fake news are as old as the rotten state of states in general, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern made my day, several times. I loved the play inside the play, and what it tells us of Shakespeare's idea regarding the power of literature to move and affect people on the deepest level.

    I quite coldly skim the overquoted to be or not to be, and stop cold at Faith! Her privates we.

    Her privates we? Meaning the middle parts of fortune? I have Manning's book at home, and I have been meaning to read it forever, and I didn't have a clue that the title was a quote from Hamlet, and that it referred to female genitals.

    I am not even at the point yet in the play where my skull makes an appearance, alas Yorick!, but I have already started a new book based on my rereading of Hamlet.

    That is what happens to readers, - stories affect them, they react, and that reaction generates new action, followed by new stories, in eternity - a precious circle. That's Hamlet. Hamlet is human in a rotten state. Who knows whether he is insane or not? I guess it depends on who you ask.

    I am still feeling kind towards him. Ophelia's fate is still in the future, as is the cathartic show effect of taking up the bodies to the stage.

    When going to bed later, after finishing the last acts, Maestro Shakespeare may be out of my favour again.

    But that is another story
    Is it possible that I had only read the first 4 scenes and Hamlet already became one of my favorite male characters ever? YES!
    Why?
    He’s constantly wearing black and monologuing about how literally everything is hard and making everything more dramatic then it is, is so ME!?

    And this is considered a tragedy (which in some ways it is) but I found it so funny (probably because I have a dark soul) and I will definitely reread this at any given moment of peace.

    I absolutely loved this play, and I’m so happy that now I can say that I have read Shakespeare!

    I’m a cultured woman now y’all. 🙌😂

    Shakespeare is an adept poet and master of the language. He layers on jokes, puns, and references everywhere. He has a massive output of work, and a number of different plots. When we compare him to other authors, it is difficult to find anyone who stacks up--but then, we're often comparing him to the wrong people.

    Shakespeare didn't write books or pamphlets or epics, he wrote plays: short pieces of drama that were meant to be fast-paced and exciting. That they are mainly experienced today as bound books and not theatrical productions does not change their origins. If one wants to look at the achievements of Shakespeare, he should be compared to someone of a similar bent.

    He should be compared with prolific writers known for catchy jokes and phrases. Writers who reuse old plots, making fun of their traditions. Writers of work meant to be performed. Writers who aim for the lowest common denominator, while still including the occasional high-minded political commentary. He should be compared to the writers of South Park; or the Simpsons; or MAD Magazine.

    Shakespeare was meant to be lowbrow and political, but now it only reads that way to those who are well-educated enough to understand his language, reference, and the political scene of the time. If you do know the period lingo, then his plays are just as filthy as any episode of South Park.

    For example, the word 'wit' refers to a fellow's manhood (this one comes up a lot), here's an example from Much Ado About Nothing:
    Don Pedro: I said that thou hadst a great wit. Yay, said she, a great gross one. Nay, say I, a fine wit. Yay, said she, a fine little one. Nay, said I, a good wit. Just, said she, it hurts nobody.

    Plus there's the title of that play, which references the fact that 'nothing' was slang for a woman's maidenhead, which occurs also in Hamlet:
    Hamlet: That's a fair thought to lie between a maid's legs.
    Ophelia: What is, my lord?
    Hamlet: Nothing.

    He was also not one to pass up a good cunt joke.

    Shakespeare often refers to mythology because that was the standard pool of reference for authors at the time. Family Guy references 1980's pop culture. Is that any less esoteric? How esoteric will Mr. T be after 400 years (assuming he doesn't find his way into the latest testament of the bible anytime soon)?

    Additionally, all of Shakespeare's magnificent plots were lifted, sometimes whole cloth, from other books and histories, just like how sit coms reuse 'episode types' or borrow plots from popular movies. Shakespeare was not quite as visionary or deep as he is often given credit for. Rather, he was always so indistinct with the motives and thoughts of his characters that two critics could assign two completely different and conflicting motives, but find both equally well-supported.

    Is Shylock evil because he's a Jew, evil despite the fact, or evil because of the effects of racism on him? You can make a case for all three. Marlowe (the more practised and precise writer) never left interpretation to chance, and where has it gotten him?

    Shakespeare was an inspired and prolific author, and his effect on writing and talent for aphorism cannot be overstated. I think he probably wrote the King James version because it is so pretty. However, he is not the be-all and end-all of writing.

    His popularity and central position in the canon comes mainly from the fact that you can write anything you like about his plays. Critics and professors don't have to scramble, or even leave their comfort zone. Shakespeare's work is opaque enough that it rejects no particular interpretation. No matter your opinions, you can find them reflected in Shakespeare; or at least, not outright refuted.

    His is a grey world, and his lack of agenda leaves us pondering what he could possibly have been like as a person. His indirect approach makes his writing the perfect representation of an unsure, unjust world. No one is really right or wrong, and even if they were, there would be no way to prove it.

    I don't know whether this makes him the most or least poignant of writers. Is the author's absence from the stories the most rarefied example of the craft, or is it just lighthearted pandering? Either way, he's still a clever, amusing, insightful, and helplessly dirty fellow. “Madness in great ones must not unwatch’d go.”

    I don’t know what to say about Hamlet. I could go on about how it is a story of madness and revenge. I could talk about the bonds of family loyalty, the sacrifices of love, the breaches of trust and their deleterious effects on the psyche. But this is old news—Hamlet has been around for over four hundred years. What could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said?

    When my wife saw I was reading Shakespeare, her snippy comment went something like, “What are you reading that for? Don’t you you have enough drama in your life?” Which, thanks Cristina, and yes I suppose I do, but what of it? Drama can be so much freaking fun. There is a reason it sells, a reason there are countless dramatic television shows on the air, countless box office films released each year rehashing the same old dramatic plotlines (some to great effect; others, not so much). And there is a reason people are still reading Shakespeare centuries upon centuries after his death: they are fun, they are witty, they are ever so dramatic.

    Hamlet is no exception. With plot elements involving fratricide, lethal potions, mistaken identity, forgery of correspondence, espionage and treachery, along with a solid dose of hanging out with the ghosts of dead relatives, one could imagine I’m reviewing an episode of General Hospital. But what is Hamlet if not a soap opera for the Elizabethans? It is an epically tragic train wreck crammed into five tiny acts.

    What makes this piece of drama so timeless, though, is that its action is served in such perfect complement by its depiction of character. We all know what Prince Hamlet is going to do before he does it. Hamlet himself, even while doubting his abilities and struggling with his resolve, knows how it’s going to all play out. Why else would he be so cruel to Ophelia? And yet it is this internal turmoil that fuels our interest in the action. It might seem like an ordinary train wreck at its surface, but upon deeper inspection it is a train wreck in whose conductors and engineers we have a vested interest.

    So, witty discourse meets fast-paced drama meets penetrating character introspection? It almost makes me wonder what would have become of Luke and Laura had William Shakespeare been in charge of the script. "/>
  • Paperback
  • 272 pages
  • The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
  • William Shakespeare
  • Farsi
  • 25 May 2017
  • 9789644450839