Helen and Troys Epic Road Quest

Helen and Troys Epic Road Quest➾ [Download] ➾ Helen and Troys Epic Road Quest By A. Lee Martinez ➳ – Jobs-in-kingston.co.uk Witness the epic battle of the cyclopsVisit the endangered dragon preserve Please no slayingSolve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage if you dareBuy some knick knacks from The Fates They might come in Witness the epic battle of the cyclopsVisit the Troys Epic PDF Ë endangered dragon preserve Please no slayingSolve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage if you dareBuy some knick knacks from The Fates They might come in handy laterOn a road trip across an enchanted America Helen and Troy will discover Helen and PDF/EPUB or all this and If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece where they might just end up destroying the and Troys Epic PDF ↠ world Or at least a state or twoA minotaur girl an all American boy a three legged dog and a classic car are on the road to adventure where every exit leads to adventure Whether they like it or not. A Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me; two of his books are ridiculously fun Gil’s All Fright Diner Emperor Mollusk a couple absolutely aren’t and a few are enjoyable but one time reads This while decently done I suppose didn’t work for me It should have as a road trip centered around Heroic uest and containing Martinez’ oddball humor but there was a strong New Young Adult theme that just didn’t work for meHelen is an Enchanted American and one of the only fully minotaur females in decades so she tends to stand out in a crowd It’s the summer after high school and she’s working at a burger joint One night her boss asks her to stay late As she’s foiling his nefarious plans her perfect co worker Troy accidentally interrupts and they are both forced into a uest A government agent shows up to help them along and they head off Meanwhile an orc motorcycle gang only on weekends is tasked by their god to kill the uesters Given that their lead Nigel is normally an accountant he’s fairly uncomfortable with this taskSo that’s the premise which could have been engaging enough but it didn’t gel as well as it could have uesting follows the traditional oracle obstacle format but frankly there’s far too much romantic angst and not enough uesting Probably the angst isn’t particularly well done To me it seemed fairly single note Helen knows she’s a minotaur which is a freak among freaks and Troy is perfect so it’s not going to work She’s very self conscious of her shedding strength and increasing irritability Troy is aware everyone thinks he’s perfect although he’s pretty sure they don’t realize how much he works at it and he’s insecure about Helen I believe that’s the gist of it which might have been mildly interesting at first but ended up being annoying by the end Since I’m definitely not a newyoung adult reader I can’t really comment on how it stacks up for the genre but it definitely didn’t transcend itThe first chapter or two were fun particularly the Hamburger God and I wondered if it would be a grown up sort of Percy Jackson Unfortunately it lost velocity and I never really got sucked into the story I finally made myself finish it just so I could move on to other books without lingering guilt The tone didn’t sustain ‘fun’ for me; at times it seemed kind of sad particularly the orcs and others it felt forced There’s a lot of genre mash up here as well so perhaps the kitchen sink approach didn’t uite work either spoilerish elementsview spoiler minotaurs government agents folklore witches elves orcs elemental spirits dragons hide spoiler Totally enjoyable humor AGAIN from A Lee Martinez Great tongue in cheek premises such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager leads directly to a UEST Bring along Helen's cute co worker Troy get uest licenses from the local board tell their parents they'll be going on a roadtrip and off we go running Martinez always rather rocks It's not always the premises that are best but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn well rounded Courageous and insecure shy and deadly The meet cute is so damn cute The magical artifacts are fun But you know what I like best? Nigel the Accountant He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are Of course no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own uest to destroy these two poor kids Love it The best part is the journey but that ending was funny as hell This was really goodI love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them if they are bad then it's expected and if they are good they are really goodAn Asian MC who probably would hate that I said that bc he's annoyed that's all people take from meeting him but I had to XD and a girl suffering from Minotaurism who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it go on a road tripuest I mean what else you wantRTC I wish i could just sit down with A Lee Martinez over a meal and a road trip and just pick his brains Probably one of my favorite authors Every book of his is chock full of great zany characters wild and bizarre situations and just crammed with wit charm heroism puns and A Locus critic wrote about one of his books and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre Divine Misfortunereads like a mash up of Neil Gaiman Monty Python and a sugar bombed nine year oldHelen Troy's did not disappoint She's a minotaur young lady he's the uintessential All American boy They're on a uest through no fault of their own and they get in and out of epic see? trials and tribulations along the way Highly recommended What the hell was that? asked TroyA god of yore she replied But I think it's dead nowHelen one of a pseudo race of beings known as Enchanted Americans is eighteen years old A good student a Marvel Comics fangirl a non preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college Helen is also a MinotaurShe'd always thought the tail was kind of cuteMinotaurism is nothing than a family trait to Helen passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor Her mother has cloven hooves her brothers fur and a tail Helen has it worse than them sure what with the horns and all but to Helen she's just Helen But this epic isn't about Helen and her horns You can help me just the same A couple of strong young mortal specimensThe god focused his gaze on them and they were immobilized by his supernatural powerYou'll doHelen and her coworker at Magic Burger Troy have been inadvertently Helen on purpose actullay sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss Mr WhiteleafThe Lost God banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr Whiteleaf takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne backYour uest is this You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed timeWhat kind of relics? asked TroyI'm not sure he repliedHow many? asked HelenSomewhere between four and six I think Possibly seven No than eight I feel confident in sayingWhere is the place of power? asked HelenI don't knowWhen's the appointed time? asked HelenThe god rolled his eyes SoonishThat's a bit vague for a uest isn't it? asked TroyAfter being cursed by the Lost God their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics Helen and Troy are given the rundown on uesting by the NB you guessed it; the National uesting Bureau After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task You're here because you choose to beHe said as if it answered everythingWalking through that door was the first step Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold Not that threshold specifically but one like it It's a signal to the universe the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worldsHelen couldn't decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo intellectual nonsense She wasn't sure she cared anythey're on their way to complete the uest of the Lost God You know what that meansAs fun and games as this adventure sounds not counting the Lost God's impending violence against the tri state area the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job Helen and Troy's uest isn't all enchanted roadside stores and drive through dragon preservesHelen cursed her whole life never knew she wanted to be 'Normal'Troy popular all American boy with a great personality and a kind heart never knew he didn't want to be 'normal'A person without flaws sometimes didn't seem like much of a person at allMaybe the uest will go off without a hitch Maybe they'll kill everybody They don't know the Lost God does't know the NPC status kookie characters the meet along the way don't know eitherBut one thing is for certain When the chips fall and the dust settles it will Be EPIC My only thought while reading this book besides My face hurts from all this smiling basically boiled down to ^ this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emoti moji available on DeviantArt Helen And Troy's Epic Road uest is pretty much what is says on the tin It's fun as all hell and totally epic in parts It has a bit of everything urban fantasy with a humor twist a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person reflections on stereotyping and even social commentary that though hypothetical and allegorical of course was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon however 'politely' in Western societyOh And Helen says thisI am what I am and you're Wyatt WingfootI first read Martinez's first novel Gil's All Fright Diner at thirteen I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd ever read I didn't know books could be so funny I didn't know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit He's a talent and a treasure I recommend him highly I am SO excited to read of his workYou continue on your journey You follow the road where it takes you Same as any of us And you hope that if it's going to lead you someplace unpleasant then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness Ten Second SynopsisAfter narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a uest for it That's when things start to get a little weirdI loved this book Since I first saw it I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes I had tried another of Martinez's novels though and it didn't do much for me so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I'm pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my expectations without exceeding them That probably sounds like a bad thing but it's not I expected a fun cheeky read that was a bit of a no brainer and that's what I got and I am very grateful for itThe plot is full of slightly predictable but nevertheless chuckle worthy takes on the whole uesting genre of bookgamemovie and anyone who enjoys this genre should get a kick out of this tribute I loved the inclusion of a female character with body issues that have nothing to do with being thin and a male character who is so perfect he finds his perfection a bit of a drag I loved the ambivalence of the Orcs the unhelpful helpfulness of the uesting bureaucracy and the unashamed use by the Magic Burger manager of his own employees in a sacrificial ritual Actually those first few chapters were an absolute crackerI've given this one 5 stars not because it's the best or even funniest book ever written but because it lived up to my expectations perfectly and that's a rare thing for me these days Helen and Troy are just your ordinary average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant Well except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic uest by a hamburger god And while details of the uest aren't exactly forthcoming the duo still sets out on a epic road tripuest in A Lee Martinez's comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy's Epic Road uestAlong the way they'll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with people who have purchased a license enacted to help keep his small town's struggling government afloat visit a dragon preserve and face pursuit by a group of supernatural bikers who may or may not have our heroes best interests at heart And that doesn't even take into account the uasi governmental agency assigned to help our heroesIf it all sounds a bit absurd and like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel you're not wrong Unlike a lot of authors who try and fail to channel the humor of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett Martinez writes a humorous story poking fun at the pratfalls of epic fantasy and delivering a handful of genuine laugh out loud moments along the way This is not a book to be read in company that will look at you oddly if you chuckle snort or laugh out loud at a certain line image or clever turn of phrase Consider yourself warned And while Martinez gets fairly close to what Adams and Prachett do and they make it look easy he doesn't uite enter the same stratosphere as those two giants But he comes a lot closer than many other authors I've seen try and spectacularly fail in the attempt That's not to say Helen and Troy isn't a fun entertaining read It's a mostly hit or miss comic fantasy that for me hit than it missed Certain threads started to weigh thin over the course of the story but overall this is an epic road uest worth taking This mis matched duo of a minotaur and the popular cute guy delivers some solid laughs and witty observations over the course of the story And Martinez wisely doesn't dwell long on each of the epic fantasy stops along the way He allows the jokes to have their moment and not wear thin in most cases In the interest of full discretion I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review Helen is a normal teenage girl She’s smart She’s funny She’s got some mild body image issues And she’s a Minotaur or Enchanted American in the parlance of their times Troy’s your average overachieving handsome athletic likeable Asian American guy When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen Helen Troy are thrust together on a uest by the Lost God They are aided by the shadowy agents of the uesting Bureau as well as an assortment of oddball characters they meet along the wayThe plot thickens when the Wild Hunt motorcycle gang is compelled to stop them Don’t hold the fact that they are Orcs against them Most of the bikers are office workers during the week and only get out riding on the weekends Nevertheless they have their heritage to live up to and will stop at almost nothing to stop Helen Troy’s successHelen Troy’s Epic Road uest is an absolute joy Martinez manages to balance character and plot exceedingly well while keeping his tongue firmly planted in cheek You want action and adventure? You’ve got it You want emotional growth or a will they or won’t they romance? You’ve got it You want laughs and winking references to a myriad of genre related items? Well they’re thrown in as well I received this book through the publisher Orbit via NetGalleyI thought the premise of this looked rather fun but I really had no idea what to expect I've done my share of road trips and I like road trip stories and something about a minotaur girl as a lead character really appealed to meThe verdict? I adored this book I've been under a lot of stress this week and Helen and Troy was perfect light fluffy and carefree with its humor It made me laugh out loud than once and made me smile constantly I can't say that about many books Oh and the humor is perfectly clean too Helen is a teenage girl She's also a minotaur It's a hereditary thing and it's rather awkward at times She works at a burger joint One of her co workers is Troy a guy whose major character traits are the fact that he's Asian and that he's perfect in just about every way It seems like another day for them at work until their boss tries to sacrifice Helen to a long gone god who then is mildly resurrected in a pile of hamburger Helen survives but she and Troy end up branded and forced to take on the Lost God's uest across a western United States that features kitschy tourist traps that might actually be death trapsIt's just plain fun At one point they meet the fates note the lowercase in a run down store in the middle of nowhere The fates are a franchise thing Like Stuckey's but with prognostication There's also a fabulous plot line involving orc motorcycle gangI loved how Martinez explored the idea of stereotypes through Helen and Troy People have expectations of a minotaur and they expect different things from a male or female Troy also is pigeon holed as good looking Asian guy They both fight against their assigned roles in society and they grow a lot in the process It brings a deep philosophical angle to the story though it never loses its lightness I read a number of urban fantasy series that feature some humor like Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid books but the humor there is used to lighten some otherwise dark gritty stuff It was a joy to read pure humor for a change and I discovered a new author to look for too A fun light hearted book a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina Helen and Troy's Epic Road uest is a tongue in cheek adventure story set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace The story follows high school students on a uest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end of the world But they'll die if they don't Oh and one of the high school kids happens to be a Minotaur To be honest I was never clear whether she had a full on bullhead or a human face I felt the author kind of side stepped that issue when he set up the romance between the main characters Call it family friendly bestialityThe humor reminded me of Christopher Moore—not as campy but finding humor in the clash between the mystical and the mundane The second half of the book doesn't live up to the gleeful absurdity of the first half but it's a uick read so not much of a letdown

Helen and Troys Epic Road Quest MOBI ✓ Troys Epic
  • Paperback
  • 353 pages
  • Helen and Troys Epic Road Quest
  • A. Lee Martinez
  • English
  • 14 March 2015
  • 9780316226431