[PDF / Epub] ☁ The Blindspots Between Us ✎ Gleb Tsipursky – Jobs-in-kingston.co.uk When what you think you know gets in the way—this eyeopening guide offers a clear path to forging stronger, healthier, and more meaningful relationships
We all want positive, productive, an When what you think you know Between Us PDF Ì gets in the way—this eyeopening guide offers a clear path to forging stronger, healthier, and meaningful relationshipsWe all want positive, productive, and genuine relationships—whether it’s with our family, friends, peers, coworkers, or romantic partners And yet, time and time again, we all seem to make the same thinking errors that threaten or sabotage these relationships These errors are called cognitive bias, and they happen when our brain attempts to simplify information by making assumptionsGrounded in The Blindspots PDF \ evidencebased cognitive behavioral therapy CBT, The Blindspots Between Us reveals the most common “hidden” cognitive biases that blind us to the truth, and which lead to the misunderstandings that damage our relationships With this guide, you’ll learn key skills to help you debias—to stop, pause, and objectively observe situations before jumping to conclusions about others’ motives You’ll also learn to consider other people’s points of view and past experiences before rushing to judgment and potentially undermining your relationshipsBeing a human is hard None of us are perfect, and we all have our blindspots that can get in the way of building the relationships we really and truly want, deep down This muchneeded book will help you identify your own blindspots, and move beyond them for better relationships—and a better world. Gleb Tsipursky combines cutting-edge research and pragmatic case studies to show the kind of problems that result from falling into these mental blindspots. More importantly, The Blindspots Between Us offers science-based strategies that anyone can adopt immediately to address the problems caused by our relationships because of cognitive biases, helping their relationships not only survive, but thrive.” The Book, The Blind spots Between Us, is very effective for those who are facing problems in their relationships. Thanks to the author, Gleb Tsipursky, for writing a book based on facts and scientific
I’m indeed grateful and happy to have read this book. I learned that in relationships, we develop some typical thinking errors and make decisions that are difficult for our partner(s) to accept, which creates distance between us and our partners.
If I talk about my past experience, I was maintaining long-distance relationships with my partner. Somehow, I started to over-think and blamed my partner for the things which are not real just because of illustrative situations in my mind. If only I got this book beforehand, I would have controlled my emotions and resolve my issues. Then, possibly live happily with my partner.
Thank you very much Dr. Gleb Tsipursky for publishing such an effective book “The Blindspots Between Us” which will really help us to protect ourselves and our relationships from mental blindspots. By taking a dangerous decision, a person ruins his whole life in a blink of an eye. I am a victim of Cognitive Biases. I have taken many dangerous decisions in my life which caused me to waste my time and energy. I think this is a helpful book for me and will definitely help me a lot to keep me on my track. I believe that if a person follows the guidelines from this book properly, He/She will never take any dangerous decisions in future.
If I got this book in the past, I could have made my decisions much better and would never waste my precious time. My parents forced me to give an exam in Marine Academy. But I don’t want to be a Marine Engineer because I think it’s hard for me to join the Marine Academy. I gave a written exam and I got a chance to participate in the physical exam. Finally in the physical exam, I didn’t pass in it. I was sure that I can’t pass. I told my parents several times that I am not capable enough to be a Marine Engineer. They didn’t even care about my thoughts. I was frustrated and depressed for 3 months for taking such a bad decision to follow my parents command. I have decided to follow the guidelines from this book to avoid dangerous cognitive biases to be a successful person.
I usually face some difficulties in my life. I can’t control myself when I become very angry then I judge people unwillingly. For this reason, I have lost some friends. Sometimes I behaved rudely with them. From my point of view, The most surprising part of this book is that “Before you judge a person, walk a mile in their shoes.” From now I'll try to focus on others thoughts before I take a decision and I have decided to start meditations by following the guidelines that are included in this book. It will help me to be calm and mentally strong and I think I will be able to control my anger. It will also help me to avoid mistakes and make better decisions in my life.
I think the Social Comparison Bias will be vulnerable for me because I feel much uncomfortable when my mom compares me to my cousins or neighbors. This type of competition makes me feel more frustrated and drained. I often feel sad and it leads me to tear down. After reading this book, I understand that I need to use my energy focusing on what I have, not on what others have. In this way, I can avoid the Social Comparison Biases for leading a happy life. As the podcast host of Brokenhearted, I interviewed Gleb on about this book, and here's what I think - this book is my new go-to for navigating how I show up in my interpersonal relationships. So much discord (and heartbreak for that matter) can be avoided if we all make the conscious choice to view the world from a different lens. The Blindspots Between Us provides a brilliant starting point for doing the necessary inner work to acknowledge and accept what cognitive biases are standing in the way of more harmonious interactions with the important people in our lives. I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to Dr. Tsipursky to launch such a thoughtful book which helps us to protect ourselves and our relationships from mental blindspots. This book meant to achieve all following three goals like where these dangerous judgment errors might be playing a role in our relationships; how cognitive biases harmed us in the past, are harming us now, and might harm us in the future; and a specific plan to address these mental blindspots. We have many unnecessary fights with friends that lead to hurt feelings and friendship breakups due to miscommunications and misunderstandings resulting from gut responses to what our friends shared. This book definitely goes in-depth into the solution of the problems caused by cognitive biases.
This book would have been helpful in the past as I just came to know about so many cognitive biases including Egocentric Bias. After completion of my Engineering I served 2.5 years in a multinational organization also achieved the Best Employee Award but suddenly the official environment changed for some of my colleagues because they had started giving credit to themselves for the successful projects & blamed me for failure one where I was not involved even. If I would get chance to read this book earlier, I might solve the bias using the debiasing strategy of getting an external perspective. In this book it’s clearly described that many people’s tendency to ascribe to them more credit than is actually due for success while blaming others for failures.
What I read proved surprising and unexpected to know about the Autopilot System, which is more powerful and predominant of the two systems & Intentional System which can guide the Autopilot System deliberately to go in a direction that matches our actual goals. I came to know we also have hidden blindspots in our minds that often ruin our relationships and other areas of our lives. Yet there are no driving instructors to teach us to watch out for these unconscious mental blindspots, what scholars term “cognitive biases.” We have many small stresses that are not life-threatening, but the autopilot system treats them as saber-tooth tigers, producing an unnecessarily stressful everyday life experience that undermines our mental and physical well-being.
People are suffering disasters daily because they fall into cognitive biases. By reading this book I came to know, Illusory superiority which represents a specific form of the broader cognitive bias known as “Egocentric Bias” also I came to know so many Debiasing Strategies to overcome cognitive biases. This cognitive bias is about our preference to ascribe to ourselves more credit than is actually due for the success of a collaborative project while blaming others for failures. Cognitive biases also undermine our society as a whole. Some of the worst excesses of polarization and hatred stem from the consequences of failing to watch out for and address these blindspots between us. Relationships in a wider sense from a new angle
This is not the first time when Gleb Tsipursky (PHD) writes about cognitive biases. He is not a novice in this fascinating area, which is a good start. However, the real questions are not that. What we really need to know about this book are whether it can talk about cognitive biases in a language suitable for an everyday person (like me) and whether the author can recommend some guidelines to improve our performances in the area of relationships.
In order to answer these questions we must clearly see what “relationships” (in plural!) means in this book. It means more than just personal or romantic relationships. It covers working relationships as well, and even touches political relationships sometimes. From my personal point of view it is fine: I always handled my working connections as professional relationships. From others’ perspective: On the one hand, if you wanted to read this book to improve your relationship with loved ones (family, partners) then you may jump some “working” parts. On the other hand, you can find tips useful for your professional life too – if you are interested in that.
Regarding language: you can see the author as an experienced teacher and writer in work. Good examples, no complicated science jargon and a structure easy to follow. The only slightly more academic part is the first chapter (Autopilot vs. Intentional), but that is probably inevitable to understand the fundamental nature of cognitive biases. And even that is handled in a popular science manner, closed with concrete recommendations and exercises. No problem here.
Regarding recommendations and exercises: yes, they are useful and yes, they are applicable – but you probably have to be selective. I guess that most readers of this book will buy it in order to solve some problems. We all have problematic relationships (whether work or personal) which we would like to improve. And we all have limited time for this project, however important it is. As the book says: we all have many biases due to evolutionary reasons, and these biases are existing because statistically speaking they were/are useful in the majority of cases. It is impossible to get rid all of them. Don’t aim the impossible. You have to focus on those biases from which you suffer most in your key relationships. So choose your enemies wisely, as you cannot fight all of them at once.
Nevertheless the book follows the best self-improvement, self-help traditions, so it can be recommended to those who would like to see a better self when they look into mirror next time.
Self-awareness and understanding of our actions towards others is a hard thing to grasp. The book entitled, “The Blind Spots Between Us”, tackles how each one of us suffers from different cognitive biases in which we are not aware of. These cognitive biases affect how we deal with others because more often than not we are driven by our emotions that led us to respond irrationally.
We have habits that we are inclined to and changing our behaviors require persistence and willingness. According to the author, we need to learn about the cognitive biases that we may be facing, especially those that we are most vulnerable due to our individual personality and upbringing. This means that we need to have an awareness of the things that keeps us from suffering these biases. The idea presented by Dr. Gleb says, “Identifying in a deep and thorough manner where that dangerous judgment error is truly hurting us as individuals and our relationships—the critical pain points in our personal, professional, and civic lives—helps empower the strong negative emotions needed to go against our gut reactions.” and this has such a strong impact. Reading through the book, I have discovered different cognitive biases in which I admittedly have been suffering or how others' own biases have affected my emotional being. Many times, I have seen myself and others fallen to the “horns effect”. The stigma that I have experienced with others is when you are going to the mall and you enter a particular shop and the salesperson will look at you and judge what you wear and, they would classify if the customer is rich or not. You can tell the difference because those they think can afford to buy have warm greetings when they enter the store. Knowing this kind of judgment in the society, as an individual it makes you feel less confident and can develop self pity. Also, I am guilty of this judgment error because nowadays, especially with social media I tend to quickly judge others when I see that they are posting something that is not aligned with what I believe in or the values I possess. And I know that it is not right, but it is a habit and so it’s hard for me to resist this bias. In this book, I have read strategies that might help me to change my dealings by delaying your reactions and judgment, making predictions about the future and considering past experience. Through these de-biasing strategies, it will be helpful to prevent such judgment errors from happening if I am willing to learn and apply it.
I will definitely be reading this book again. This has been an eye opener and such a helpful tool to gain insights about different cognitive biases and in improving how we deal with our relationships. Great work! Most of us don’t want others to misunderstand us, and most of us also want to clearly understand others. We all generally want to have our interpersonal relations with family, friends, business associates, and just casual acquaintances flow smoothly. Nevertheless, we regularly find ourselves in situations in which we (or those we interact with) inadvertently cause confusion, hurt feelings, and distrust through miscommunication. If you’ve experienced this problem, then cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist Gleb Tsipursky, PhD, has written the book for you! In his new book, The Blindspots Between Us, Dr. Tsipursky (who, full disclosure, is a friend of mine) brings together, in a concise yet substantive manner, over 15 year of research, teaching, and consulting on “cognitive biases,” that is, modes of thinking that are hard-wired into our brains. These biases served humans well in their relatively simple prehistoric environment, but often lead us astray in our highly complex modern world. In a series of short, highly readable chapters, illustrated with examples from his own work and life, Dr. Tsipursky discusses several categories of these biases, and provides techniques for “debiasing,” that is, for recognizing and counteracting these biases (in large part by more fully understanding how others view the world), in order to improve our relationships. BSBU is an excellent companion to another recent book by Dr. Tsipursky, Never Go With Your Gut, which deals with cognitive biases specifically in the business arena.
At any time, a book such as BSBU (written before the emergence of the new coronavirus) would be an important contribution to enhancing our lives by improving how we communicate with and understand each other. But in the present context, as I write this in mid-April 2020, the COVID-19 emergency has made it glaringly obvious how important it is, not just for the quality of our relationships, but for our livelihoods and very lives, that we understand our world, and the motivations and goals of ourselves and others, in clear, rational terms. For example, recognizing how the Optimism and Pessimism Biases (BSBU, pages 125-139) may impact our views on when the economy should be restarted, or on the trajectory of the coronavirus, is literally a matter now of life and death. Where do we fall on the Authority Bias (BSBU, pages 148-153), our tendency to give more credence to authority figures than we objectively should, when we try to determine which authorities or experts to heed on the danger of COVID-19? These are only two examples, but every chapter of BSBU provides practical insights and guidance on how to assess the dynamics that impact both our personal lives, and the entire global community. Brilliant, engaging, and timely read about human irrationality!
The book took me on a delightful journey that I could not put it down. Result? I finished this insightful book in two days. I deeply enjoyed and related to the different cases and empirical episodes within this book (favorite: thermostat and electricity charges incident). These empirical incidents and realizations coupled with theories set out to dismantle irrational trains of thought we have in conversations. We usually listen to answer and not actually digest what is said. Aren’t we all guilty of this? I unknowingly and confidently behave this way without actually realizing it. I can honestly say I am guilty of the autopilot system error. This cognitive bias has made me go through situations that could have ended better. Dr. Tsipursky stressed probabilistic thinking and this stresses a more rational and this addresses my unconscious errors of reasoning that distort my judgment that is specially caused by my autopilot system.
While reading through the book, one conversation came to mind: a conversation I had with a former boss some good five years ago. He was questioning parts of my report and because I was blindsided by so many biases, I only heard the doubt in his voice and found offense. Story short there was an exchange of harsh words and a blatant disrespect towards each other. Had I been equipped with the debiasing exercises, I could have presented my point in a non-offensive manner.
As a person who sticks hard to theories and what I deeply enjoy, I am now made aware that I could be prone to False Consensus Effect. The best part of this well written book is how it points out what you might be vulnerable to and it presents you with solution. I am now solved in taking a few seconds to stop and look back as pointed out. I could hold back what my feelings dictate me to say and I could just avoid an adverse conversation. I deeply enjoyed this book – from theories to exercises. I will take with me key points laid out in the debiasing strategies for sure. Social distancing?
Spending more time with family members, spouse/significant other/ children/parents than ever before? Agitated? Worried? Anxious? Finding it easy to fly off the handle” over those daily little irritations?
Then you’re likely to need THIS book now more than ever.
Best-selling Disaster Avoidance expert, Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, not only explains the judgment errors we all make, but provides hands-on practice exercises to counter your cognitive biases and help you see how your confirmation bias and attribution errors have you “locked into” (pun-intended!) negative relationship patterns and cycles with those you CARE ABOUT most, but always seem to hurt with thoughtless words or misunderstood gestures. I bought this books recently, and read it almost straight through. Then I re-read, and high-lighted and dog-eared pages. Yes, it's that good.
A follow-up to his 2019 Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters, this new book focuses on those really important relationships.
I appreciate the “readability” this book offers. It’s not the dumbed-down pablum you might find in women’s magazine articles, but is instead grounded in solid scientific research that only a cognitive neuroscientist can provide, while still being relatable because of the many examples and personal experiences he includes. Best of all the techniques work – techniques that help you make use of that powerful brain of yours to negotiate the pitfalls of relationships in constructive, positive, “win-win” ways.
Got disaster? Avoid it!
Got good relationships with spouse/family/loved ones/co-workers? Enhance them!
Hey, you’ve got the TIME to read this book as you stay at home/shelter-in-place for who knows how long, but more importantly, you’ve FINALLY got the TIME to digest these ideas and actually practice the skills, change your behaviors, and reflect on their effectiveness with the people you care most about.
- 216 pages
- The Blindspots Between Us
- Gleb Tsipursky
- 23 July 2019 Gleb Tsipursky