Touched by an Alien

Touched by an Alien[PDF / Epub] ⚣ Touched by an Alien ✈ Gini Koch – Jobs-in-kingston.co.uk Marketing manager Katherine Kitty Katt had just finished a day on jury duty When she stepped out of the Pueblo Caliente courthouse, all she was thinking about was the work she had to get caught up on Marketing manager Katherine Kitty Katt had just finished a day on jury duty When she stepped out of the Pueblo Caliente courthouse, all she was thinking about was the work she had to get caught up on Touched by eBook ✓ Then her attention was caught by a fight between a couple that looked like it was about to turn ugly But ugly didn t even begin to cover it when the man suddenly transformed into a huge, winged monster right out of a grade Z science fiction movie and went on a deadly killing spree In hindsight, Kitty realized she probably should have panicked and run screaming the way everyone around her was doing Instead she sprinted into action to take down the alien In the middle of all the screeching and the ensuing chaos, a hunk in an Armani suit suddenly appeared beside her, introduced himself as Jeff Martini with the agency, and then insisted on leading her to a nearby limo to talk to his boss And that was how Kitty s new life among the aliens began Touched by an Alien is the thrilling first installment of the Alien novels. Touched by an Alien, eh What was I thinking I mean yeah, the cover artist I m talking about the whole series of books is great, and call me a douche, but that s the main reason I wanted to get my hands on this book so much But Touched by an Alien And then the summary, which states a bunch of important words sexy marketing manager , emphasis, as you see, on sexy , Alpha Centauri male in Armani , emphasis on Alpha and Armani , and handsome hunk , emphasis on hunk After analyzing t Touched by an Alien, eh What was I thinking I mean yeah, the cover artist I m talking about the whole series of books is great, and call me a douche, but that s the main reason I wanted to get my hands on this book so much But Touched by an Alien And then the summary, which states a bunch of important words sexy marketing manager , emphasis, as you see, on sexy , Alpha Centauri male in Armani , emphasis on Alpha and Armani , and handsome hunk , emphasis on hunk After analyzing these keywords one gets the following results 1 sexy stands for an incredibly arrogant and annoying female lead She will have a herd of men chasing after her ass, and she will choose the hottest one see number 2 2 Alpha main male character who is better than any other male in the book or Universe , and will do everything better, faster, stronger than anyone else He will be mostly topless and oily most of the time, and will melt a female s panties off with one look 3 Armani suggests personal wealth and lack of clothing brand knowledge 4 hunk a cheap way of saying that the Alpha is hot Expect lots of idiotic jokes throughout the book.So yes, after all this I still went on and tried to read Touched by an Alien I deserve everything I ve got.What is Touched by an Alien REALLY about A bunch of hunky agents A male MC who s behaving like an overly attached dog Loads of shitty humor Aliens Shitty Creepy romance I shite you not, the guy was actually acting like this Loads of ass kissing for the female MC And a female MC who s full of shit if it only was one week and not two days..Sexual harassment anyone Review also posted on A mash up of Men In Black and Ghostbusters with a central McGyver character Intriguing premise The sex scenes were steamy and the humour sometimes funny but the writing, in general, needed serious tweaking.Fugly That word has been possibly temporarily removed from my personal dictionary Baby and girlfriend as terms of endearments should be banned My lovely Kindle can illustrate why fugly 39 mentions mostly in the second half of the book used by Kitty.baby 22 mentions as A mash up of Men In Black and Ghostbusters with a central McGyver character Intriguing premise The sex scenes were steamy and the humour sometimes funny but the writing, in general, needed serious tweaking.Fugly That word has been possibly temporarily removed from my personal dictionary Baby and girlfriend as terms of endearments should be banned My lovely Kindle can illustrate why fugly 39 mentions mostly in the second half of the book used by Kitty.baby 22 mentions as a term of endearment used by Martini love interest when referring to Kitty.girlfriend 21 mentions as a term of endearment used by the only gay character when referring to Kitty Ugh.Thesaurus It s there for a reason Be imaginative when referring to a loved one or, you know, call them by their actual name.The first 25% was a nightmare to get through as Kitty asked a torrent of questions to establish the world building and get to know the aliens It was difficult to keep up, especially since Kitty would make huge intuitive leaps when I couldn t figure out where she got the information to make such assumptions She was also unbelievably arrogant in the way she told the professionals they were doing everything wrongFeel free to tell us what you, having less than two days of this kind of experience, would like the rest of us do You know, those of us who have spent years, or merely our entire lives in this line of workKitty doesn t know the meaning of tact and diplomatic She had a different perspective on things but she wasn t willing to be even a little polite about it When she wasn t putting them down she was ogling and drooling over how naturally attractive all of the A Cs are I didn t see why she was the only one to come up with all of the brilliant ideas since most of the A Cs had either lived on this planet for over 40 years or were born on it You d think a few of them would ve learned what kills slugs or would ve heard of Earth s history with religion Religion The A C s religion changed to reflect Judaism right after Kitty compared it to that when explaining to her parents And perhaps I m being oversensitive to these next two issues but Martini says they re all circumcised to appearhuman like being uncircumcised is somehow unnatural Men are born that way, that s human natural enough for me.Martini, the love interest, was hugely annoying to begin with From the get go he s overly flirty verging on overbearing with the sexual harassment and proposes to Kitty within minutes, possibly an hour of meeting her Some of his attraction to Kitty is later explained but Christopher s interest was hard to fathom unless it was due to brotherly rivalry, only it didn t come across that way.I m also unhappy with the dog on human violence Duchess, the pitbull, followed Kitty s actions by attacking an unarmed and physically non threatening male The dog teared into the guy s groin He made rape threats but was unable to carry them out as the women surrounding him had confiscated his guns This upset me If the dog saw her owner being attacked and it responded on it s own or Kitty called for help then I would ve felt differently Instead Kitty instructed the dog to attack someone who wasn t in a position to hurt anyone This is a hot topic in the UK and pitbulls are subject to the Dangerous Dogs Act because they re so aggressive, tend to be mishandled and have been responsible for a number of, sometimes fatal, maulings.Okay, negativity over The sex scenes were superb Kitty s upside down Mission Impossible pole dancing move on the rope suspended in mid air while shooting at the ground was very cool I liked the A C male female dynamic when it came to mating choices The females were super intelligent scientists interested in high IQs who thought human men like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates were and I quote dreamy They considered their male A C stock to be morons in comparison Physical appearance didn t matter to any of the A Cs, perhaps because they were all 100% gorgeous I think this book would make an exciting movie but I m not sure I would read the sequel unless my local library acquires it This is a public service announcement for the skeptics I picked up this book from the library because the author is coming to Tucson Festival of Books in a few weeks and the reviews were overall good I thought it might be just silly enough to be awesome My bad.Everything people loved about this book I hated I thought the dialogue was horrible and clunky Kitty was super sarcastic all the time think Gil Girls without the charm and a really big fucking flirt who kept giggling that she This is a public service announcement for the skeptics I picked up this book from the library because the author is coming to Tucson Festival of Books in a few weeks and the reviews were overall good I thought it might be just silly enough to be awesome My bad.Everything people loved about this book I hated I thought the dialogue was horrible and clunky Kitty was super sarcastic all the time think Gil Girls without the charm and a really big fucking flirt who kept giggling that she was losing her feminist credentialsGirlfriend, I don t think you had any to lose Don t get me started on Jeff Martini the flirty wise cracking empathic model gorgeous genius alien secret agent from a planet of wise cracking model gorgeous genius alien secret agents with magic talents And the poor beleaguered model gorgeous genius alien secret agent men are constantly belittled by the model gorgeous evengenius alien secret scientist women who would rather date hot thangs like Stephen Hawking.I should have known when the main character was named Katherine Katt a.k.a Kitty as in seriously, her parents hated her so much they made her whole name a fucking joke Pardon my language, but I find profanity a lot less offensive than this claptrap I was hoping the sex would redeem it, but after the fourth or fifth mention of erotic kisses even Jeff Martini s otherworldly stamina couldn t hold my interest Erotic kisses As opposed to grandmotherly kisses Bah And I m not a prude, but you just had to fall into bed with the first alien you met And I quit reading before the big reveal, but the why does this character instantly hate me what did I ever do to deserve it oh really he s in love with me I had no idea even though every single character I talked to hinted at it obliviousness gets real old fast.As someone who does read quite a lot of slightlyserious sci fi and fantasy, I guess I m just not prepared for a book so shallow And for all that other reviewers praised the fast pace of this book, I thought it was bogged down with a lot of unnecessary explanation In my opinion, you do not have to put he said blahda blahda blahda after each line of dialogue You do not have to describe stepping through a door every time you walk through it But if that door is going to transport you anywhere on the planet almost instantly, you should put a little effort into coherent world building and explain how the damn thing works Deep breath. Okay, read it if you want This book is just really not for me If you like strong female protagonists like Sookie Stackhouse and well rounded characters which act in a logical fashion like those Twilight kids, have at it But if you have your doubts starting it and anything in my review resonates with you, just stop It s not for you I quit in the first half 2,5 slimy parasites stars Kitty Katt our average MarySue woman just exited a building when a man suffer a nasty transformation , sprout deadly wings and starting killing people As everybody normal reaction will be not she jump on the guy and kill a slimy blob on him Well, welcome to Men in Black Meet True Lies Meet Get Smart. Then , of course, some really georgeous men dressed in Armany arrive to control the situation, and Jeff Martini and can t you take srly a name like that is insta sm 2,5 slimy parasites stars Kitty Katt our average MarySue woman just exited a building when a man suffer a nasty transformation , sprout deadly wings and starting killing people As everybody normal reaction will be not she jump on the guy and kill a slimy blob on him Well, welcome to Men in Black Meet True Lies Meet Get Smart. Then , of course, some really georgeous men dressed in Armany arrive to control the situation, and Jeff Martini and can t you take srly a name like that is insta smitten with KittyWhat s wrong with him Other than the fact that he s known you less than a day and wants to marry you And is, from what they ve said, an alien Oh, gee, nothing But wait, the Armani guys are aliens tooAlpha Centaurions, Christopher corrected in a snippy tone We call ourselves A Cs, Gower said quickly Trust me, it s easier And, there are several thousand of us Not all are working as agents, of course All the good alien guys are georgeous, but wait all the good alien girls are georgeous too and are the scientist, and looove smart guys and think her fellow countryman are dumb.The kind of humor feels to me like the tv 60s Really over the top situations with simple solutions The bad guy is called Mephistopheles and is a terrorist hoping to bring chaos.So, comedy style with sex, of course, with tons of orgarms And that she feels atracted to all those yummy men, the slut roll eyes Though I prefer Cristopher and not Jeff.The religion thing feels kind of forced and trying for simpathetic.Not sure I read the next book, despite some loose ends With a name like Touched by an alien , it s no doubt that this book would be hilarious and unconventional, not taking itself seriously Even the blurb was funny, I mean handsome aliens dressed in Armani suits The book delivered lots of laughs, action, romance, andNothing could prepare me for the entertainment that ensued upon reading the book The witty banter alone was incredibly fun, between the Alpha Centaurions or A C s which are all incredibly good looking, smart aliens who are g With a name like Touched by an alien , it s no doubt that this book would be hilarious and unconventional, not taking itself seriously Even the blurb was funny, I mean handsome aliens dressed in Armani suits The book delivered lots of laughs, action, romance, andNothing could prepare me for the entertainment that ensued upon reading the book The witty banter alone was incredibly fun, between the Alpha Centaurions or A C s which are all incredibly good looking, smart aliens who are great in bed and who hold superpowers like extreme empathy When you look at the book as a whole, it s really funny but it definitely doesn t try too hard to be that Kitty is a great heroine with an excellent sense of humour She could win battles just on her quick wit and taste in hard rock music alone Her parents are also an interesting pair, one of which is evenkick ass than her daughter This book wasn t perfect however, with a political and religious agenda explaining why the aliens came to Earth It did confuse me in some parts, but carried on at a fast pace There was heaps of action moving the book at a fast pace, although I was disappointed that the Montblac pen didn t make a reappearance later in the book minor spoiler view spoiler The contrived love triangle was probably something I could have done without, I felt like I was watching another episode of Vampire Diaries again, with the heroine caught between two hunks hide spoiler I definitely enjoyed this title, and will be continuing with the rest of the series This series is definitely underrated, if you want a good, entertaining sci fi romance then pick this up Check out Happy Indulgence forreviews There are three categories of books 1 Some books one reads to improve themselves This is like eating broccoli you may or may not like it, but you know it s good for you.2 Some books one reads because they like them and they happen to be really good books This is like eating strawberries you know you like them and you re pleased it also happens to be good for you.3 Some books one reads specifically because they are trash This is like eating circus peanuts you know you like them and you k There are three categories of books 1 Some books one reads to improve themselves This is like eating broccoli you may or may not like it, but you know it s good for you.2 Some books one reads because they like them and they happen to be really good books This is like eating strawberries you know you like them and you re pleased it also happens to be good for you.3 Some books one reads specifically because they are trash This is like eating circus peanuts you know you like them and you know they have no redeeming qualities to them other than your appreciation of them.Touched by an Alien is definitely falls in the circus peanuts category I have to confess I m not a sci fi fan Not because I don t like the genre, but simply because I have never read any sci fi novel or watched any sci fi movie So when I saw the gorgeous cover of this book at first, I never thought this would be something I would pick up, but then I kept stumbling upon praising reviews of Touched by an Alien and since all the reviews were so unanimous in praising Gini Koch s writing and the novel itself to the skies, I thought I d give sci fi a try and see what T I have to confess I m not a sci fi fan Not because I don t like the genre, but simply because I have never read any sci fi novel or watched any sci fi movie So when I saw the gorgeous cover of this book at first, I never thought this would be something I would pick up, but then I kept stumbling upon praising reviews of Touched by an Alien and since all the reviews were so unanimous in praising Gini Koch s writing and the novel itself to the skies, I thought I d give sci fi a try and see what Touched by an Alien is really about And I have to say I proudly join the ranks of Gini Koch fans and Alien Lovers WOW I was completely blown away by Touched by an Alien I loved it so much that after I have finished it I wanted to pick it up right away and start re reading it, that s how fantastic Touched by an Alien is But let me slow down in my gushing and tell you why you MUST read Touched by an Alien.Where to start Hm..Of course when you read the above blurb you are expecting Kitty to be a somewhat unconventional young woman and you are expecting the novel to be funny, but nothing prepares you to how it will be Touched by an Alien had me chuckling and then laughing out loud from page 3 The dialogues are sharp and incredibly witty, I just started typing that Kitty, Martini and Christopher s one liners and sharp comebacks are hilarious and dead on, but then I started adding to the list Kitty s mom, Mr White, James and I realized I could go on and on because all the characters are hilarious.Kitty is an extraordinary heroine she combats alien monsters with blaring Aerosmith and Tears from Heaven from the stereo, she attacks the biggest monster, Leader of all Evils with hair spray cans and when a huge stinking 12 feet tall scary monster charges towards her, she runs to it at full speed Just a few to demonstrate you that Kitty is a unique heroine, one that the characters in the novel can t decide whether she s crazy or incredibly brave and a genius Then let me tell you about the heroes there are two leading men Christopher and Jeff Martini how cool a name is that And one of the first things Gini Koch establishes early on is that all A Cs the good aliens are incredibly gorgeous the men are total hunks, swoonworthy droolworthy and the women arethan model beautiful So no surprise that both Christopher and Jeff are drop dead gorgeous men specimen and Gini Koch sure made them unique characters.Jeff is the charmer easygoing and funny, constantly smiling and hitting on Kitty from sentence 3, professing his love for her on page 9 and within 30 mins of meeting her he already asks her to marry him and keeps repeating it at regular intervals through the novel But Jeff s pushiness is endearing and funny, not creepy or bullying at all.Christopher is the snarky one he is incredible handsome too, but somehow he and Kitty are like cats and dogs they are always at each other s throats and it takes Kitty s mom or Christopher s dad to make the children behave.So let me tell you, to choose between the two men is hard not only for Kitty but for the reader too, if the romantic in us could get their way we would definitely want a m nage wink What is amazing is that the supporting characters are also well developed and original Kitty s mom and dad, Christopher s dad, Claudia and Lorraine and the human pilots, oh and don t let me start on James Fantastic character development The story is fast paced, action packed, there s never a dull moment in Touched by an Alien.The love sex scenes are done tastefully while still remaining scorchingly hot But let me tell you my absolutely favourite thing in this novel besides the totally hot and passionate love scenes of course it was the humour The incredibly unique, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes dry and biting, but always laugh out loud humour You can t believe the things that come out of Kitty s mouth and what she does to combat the monsters Gini Koch is brilliant because in the midst of a terribly scary scene, when stinking huge jelly snake looking monsters are about to trample kill strangle the characters she simply makes Kitty do or say something, and bam you are laughing instead of while biting your nails Verdict I fell in love with this novel Love Kitty, Martini, Chris and the whole package, love the hilarious interactions, all the passion and humour I could go on and on and tell you about everything I loved in Touched by an Alien but I guess that would be just as long as the novel itself, so trust me, pick up this book and read it, you ll gain a new favourite series and a brilliant new author to definitely watch Alien Tango cannot come out soon enough, I wantps Sorry, I can imagine that in my enthusiasm I was quite rambling and gushing but you will understand it once you read Touched by an Alien Plot 10 10Characters 10 10Ending 10 10Writing 10 10Cover 10 10 UPDATE First read, borrow from my friend, and then I win a signed copy of Touched by an Alien, from the author herself Thanks, Ms Gini Koch You re rock, like Kitty too Actually, I m torn to give this book between 4 and 5 starsLet me seeMy reason why I want to give it 5 stars Katherine Katt, a.k.a Kitty is my kind of heroine She can kick her enemy ass and maybe yours as well And she has a weird kind of humor Oh, don t forget her sarcasm Jeff Martini an Alpha Centaurion ali UPDATE First read, borrow from my friend, and then I win a signed copy of Touched by an Alien, from the author herself Thanks, Ms Gini Koch You re rock, like Kitty too Actually, I m torn to give this book between 4 and 5 starsLet me seeMy reason why I want to give it 5 stars Katherine Katt, a.k.a Kitty is my kind of heroine She can kick her enemy ass and maybe yours as well And she has a weird kind of humor Oh, don t forget her sarcasm Jeff Martini an Alpha Centaurion alien and agent too, wearing Armani suit imagine agent in Men in Black, if you want is sexy, hot, alpha man, an empath that understand people s emotion He s falling in love head over toe to Kitty Want to marry her, want to have kids with her, care about her, get possessive over her. my new boyfriend wink2 The story is full of action, fast paced and humorous I love it and laugh a lot Kitty s parent have a secret And that s really really make Kitty shock when she know it But Kitty still love them Family theme is always the best May I introduce you to Christopher White Jeff s cousin, an Alpha Centaurion alien with good looking He seems to hate Kitty for the first time call her princess, mock her But be patient, after some part, you will know, Christoper s feeling to Kitty is different from what it seen, and it make Jeff Kitty relationship got rocky The story will lack appeal, when the hero and heroine s relationship seems fine And, oh be careful with Christoper s Glare He has various glare From Glare 1 until Glare 5 Kitty has many way to defeat the alien Kill the alien with ballpoint Check Sprout the alien with hairspray Check Confused the enemy with rock n roll music especially Aerosmith Check, check, check forget gun, grenade, tank, jet You can defeat Alien with simple thingsNowMy reason, why I reduce the stars The political and religious aspect, make me confused _ Especially from Alpha Centaurion, but maybe its the way the author used to describe the world in this book There are some event when Kitty looks weak When she supposed to be strong, and sometimes she looks annoying too But I think that s fine Some action scenes in this book make me lost when read it Too fast maybe And sometimes the conversation make me confused too, because there are no explanation, who is talking and who is reply. Lack of Martini scene Yes, I wantMartini, I don t care if the story just about Martini and Kitty just kidding, lol So, I decided to give this book 4 stars But don t worry, this book is good If you agree with my reason to give this book 5 stars and you love science fiction genre and some romance too, you will enjoy this Looking forward for the second book And please, let this book haveMartini s scene Katherine Kitty Katt s Montblanc pen. This is a review of the audiobook Nicely narrated by Romy Nordlinger She is had great pacing and inflection on her voices My only hesitancy, although I love her voice, is it is not how I pictured Kitty s Her voice sounds roughened by whisky poured over jagged rocks, then slowly infused with bar lounge smoke I sped it up to 1.5 speed Good job, though, with the witty dialogue, so I went with it and quite enjoyed her delivery What a Katherine Kitty Katt s Montblanc pen. This is a review of the audiobook Nicely narrated by Romy Nordlinger She is had great pacing and inflection on her voices My only hesitancy, although I love her voice, is it is not how I pictured Kitty s Her voice sounds roughened by whisky poured over jagged rocks, then slowly infused with bar lounge smoke I sped it up to 1.5 speed Good job, though, with the witty dialogue, so I went with it and quite enjoyed her delivery What a fun book Campy, but fun Suspending belief goes hand in hand when one picks up a book like this one, which isn t everyone s cup of tea I loved it, though I suspect this author gets better and better with each book in this series, so I m definitely going to go forward with it Not wild about the love triangle attempt and Ireallywished Kitty had used her Weapon of Choice again her Montblanc pen LOL Hopefully, in a future book Thanks, Sandra, for the rec This book was straight up stupid There was a massive info dump in the beginning, and in the midst of said dump and afterwards as well , there were numerous references to the sexy alien men as hunks and even dreamy to the max on one occasion Dreamyto the maxYEP That happened.There was also slut shaming, and a cartload of other ridiculousness, and just, NO.

Touched by an Alien ePUB ✓ Touched by  eBook
    Touched by an Alien ePUB ✓ Touched by eBook sprinted into action to take down the alien In the middle of all the screeching and the ensuing chaos, a hunk in an Armani suit suddenly appeared beside her, introduced himself as Jeff Martini with the agency, and then insisted on leading her to a nearby limo to talk to his boss And that was how Kitty s new life among the aliens began Touched by an Alien is the thrilling first installment of the Alien novels. Touched by an Alien, eh What was I thinking I mean yeah, the cover artist I m talking about the whole series of books is great, and call me a douche, but that s the main reason I wanted to get my hands on this book so much But Touched by an Alien And then the summary, which states a bunch of important words sexy marketing manager , emphasis, as you see, on sexy , Alpha Centauri male in Armani , emphasis on Alpha and Armani , and handsome hunk , emphasis on hunk After analyzing t Touched by an Alien, eh What was I thinking I mean yeah, the cover artist I m talking about the whole series of books is great, and call me a douche, but that s the main reason I wanted to get my hands on this book so much But Touched by an Alien And then the summary, which states a bunch of important words sexy marketing manager , emphasis, as you see, on sexy , Alpha Centauri male in Armani , emphasis on Alpha and Armani , and handsome hunk , emphasis on hunk After analyzing these keywords one gets the following results 1 sexy stands for an incredibly arrogant and annoying female lead She will have a herd of men chasing after her ass, and she will choose the hottest one see number 2 2 Alpha main male character who is better than any other male in the book or Universe , and will do everything better, faster, stronger than anyone else He will be mostly topless and oily most of the time, and will melt a female s panties off with one look 3 Armani suggests personal wealth and lack of clothing brand knowledge 4 hunk a cheap way of saying that the Alpha is hot Expect lots of idiotic jokes throughout the book.So yes, after all this I still went on and tried to read Touched by an Alien I deserve everything I ve got.What is Touched by an Alien REALLY about A bunch of hunky agents A male MC who s behaving like an overly attached dog Loads of shitty humor Aliens Shitty Creepy romance I shite you not, the guy was actually acting like this Loads of ass kissing for the female MC And a female MC who s full of shit if it only was one week and not two days..Sexual harassment anyone Review also posted on A mash up of Men In Black and Ghostbusters with a central McGyver character Intriguing premise The sex scenes were steamy and the humour sometimes funny but the writing, in general, needed serious tweaking.Fugly That word has been possibly temporarily removed from my personal dictionary Baby and girlfriend as terms of endearments should be banned My lovely Kindle can illustrate why fugly 39 mentions mostly in the second half of the book used by Kitty.baby 22 mentions as A mash up of Men In Black and Ghostbusters with a central McGyver character Intriguing premise The sex scenes were steamy and the humour sometimes funny but the writing, in general, needed serious tweaking.Fugly That word has been possibly temporarily removed from my personal dictionary Baby and girlfriend as terms of endearments should be banned My lovely Kindle can illustrate why fugly 39 mentions mostly in the second half of the book used by Kitty.baby 22 mentions as a term of endearment used by Martini love interest when referring to Kitty.girlfriend 21 mentions as a term of endearment used by the only gay character when referring to Kitty Ugh.Thesaurus It s there for a reason Be imaginative when referring to a loved one or, you know, call them by their actual name.The first 25% was a nightmare to get through as Kitty asked a torrent of questions to establish the world building and get to know the aliens It was difficult to keep up, especially since Kitty would make huge intuitive leaps when I couldn t figure out where she got the information to make such assumptions She was also unbelievably arrogant in the way she told the professionals they were doing everything wrongFeel free to tell us what you, having less than two days of this kind of experience, would like the rest of us do You know, those of us who have spent years, or merely our entire lives in this line of workKitty doesn t know the meaning of tact and diplomatic She had a different perspective on things but she wasn t willing to be even a little polite about it When she wasn t putting them down she was ogling and drooling over how naturally attractive all of the A Cs are I didn t see why she was the only one to come up with all of the brilliant ideas since most of the A Cs had either lived on this planet for over 40 years or were born on it You d think a few of them would ve learned what kills slugs or would ve heard of Earth s history with religion Religion The A C s religion changed to reflect Judaism right after Kitty compared it to that when explaining to her parents And perhaps I m being oversensitive to these next two issues but Martini says they re all circumcised to appearhuman like being uncircumcised is somehow unnatural Men are born that way, that s human natural enough for me.Martini, the love interest, was hugely annoying to begin with From the get go he s overly flirty verging on overbearing with the sexual harassment and proposes to Kitty within minutes, possibly an hour of meeting her Some of his attraction to Kitty is later explained but Christopher s interest was hard to fathom unless it was due to brotherly rivalry, only it didn t come across that way.I m also unhappy with the dog on human violence Duchess, the pitbull, followed Kitty s actions by attacking an unarmed and physically non threatening male The dog teared into the guy s groin He made rape threats but was unable to carry them out as the women surrounding him had confiscated his guns This upset me If the dog saw her owner being attacked and it responded on it s own or Kitty called for help then I would ve felt differently Instead Kitty instructed the dog to attack someone who wasn t in a position to hurt anyone This is a hot topic in the UK and pitbulls are subject to the Dangerous Dogs Act because they re so aggressive, tend to be mishandled and have been responsible for a number of, sometimes fatal, maulings.Okay, negativity over The sex scenes were superb Kitty s upside down Mission Impossible pole dancing move on the rope suspended in mid air while shooting at the ground was very cool I liked the A C male female dynamic when it came to mating choices The females were super intelligent scientists interested in high IQs who thought human men like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates were and I quote dreamy They considered their male A C stock to be morons in comparison Physical appearance didn t matter to any of the A Cs, perhaps because they were all 100% gorgeous I think this book would make an exciting movie but I m not sure I would read the sequel unless my local library acquires it This is a public service announcement for the skeptics I picked up this book from the library because the author is coming to Tucson Festival of Books in a few weeks and the reviews were overall good I thought it might be just silly enough to be awesome My bad.Everything people loved about this book I hated I thought the dialogue was horrible and clunky Kitty was super sarcastic all the time think Gil Girls without the charm and a really big fucking flirt who kept giggling that she This is a public service announcement for the skeptics I picked up this book from the library because the author is coming to Tucson Festival of Books in a few weeks and the reviews were overall good I thought it might be just silly enough to be awesome My bad.Everything people loved about this book I hated I thought the dialogue was horrible and clunky Kitty was super sarcastic all the time think Gil Girls without the charm and a really big fucking flirt who kept giggling that she was losing her feminist credentialsGirlfriend, I don t think you had any to lose Don t get me started on Jeff Martini the flirty wise cracking empathic model gorgeous genius alien secret agent from a planet of wise cracking model gorgeous genius alien secret agents with magic talents And the poor beleaguered model gorgeous genius alien secret agent men are constantly belittled by the model gorgeous evengenius alien secret scientist women who would rather date hot thangs like Stephen Hawking.I should have known when the main character was named Katherine Katt a.k.a Kitty as in seriously, her parents hated her so much they made her whole name a fucking joke Pardon my language, but I find profanity a lot less offensive than this claptrap I was hoping the sex would redeem it, but after the fourth or fifth mention of erotic kisses even Jeff Martini s otherworldly stamina couldn t hold my interest Erotic kisses As opposed to grandmotherly kisses Bah And I m not a prude, but you just had to fall into bed with the first alien you met And I quit reading before the big reveal, but the why does this character instantly hate me what did I ever do to deserve it oh really he s in love with me I had no idea even though every single character I talked to hinted at it obliviousness gets real old fast.As someone who does read quite a lot of slightlyserious sci fi and fantasy, I guess I m just not prepared for a book so shallow And for all that other reviewers praised the fast pace of this book, I thought it was bogged down with a lot of unnecessary explanation In my opinion, you do not have to put he said blahda blahda blahda after each line of dialogue You do not have to describe stepping through a door every time you walk through it But if that door is going to transport you anywhere on the planet almost instantly, you should put a little effort into coherent world building and explain how the damn thing works Deep breath. Okay, read it if you want This book is just really not for me If you like strong female protagonists like Sookie Stackhouse and well rounded characters which act in a logical fashion like those Twilight kids, have at it But if you have your doubts starting it and anything in my review resonates with you, just stop It s not for you I quit in the first half 2,5 slimy parasites stars Kitty Katt our average MarySue woman just exited a building when a man suffer a nasty transformation , sprout deadly wings and starting killing people As everybody normal reaction will be not she jump on the guy and kill a slimy blob on him Well, welcome to Men in Black Meet True Lies Meet Get Smart. Then , of course, some really georgeous men dressed in Armany arrive to control the situation, and Jeff Martini and can t you take srly a name like that is insta sm 2,5 slimy parasites stars Kitty Katt our average MarySue woman just exited a building when a man suffer a nasty transformation , sprout deadly wings and starting killing people As everybody normal reaction will be not she jump on the guy and kill a slimy blob on him Well, welcome to Men in Black Meet True Lies Meet Get Smart. Then , of course, some really georgeous men dressed in Armany arrive to control the situation, and Jeff Martini and can t you take srly a name like that is insta smitten with KittyWhat s wrong with him Other than the fact that he s known you less than a day and wants to marry you And is, from what they ve said, an alien Oh, gee, nothing But wait, the Armani guys are aliens tooAlpha Centaurions, Christopher corrected in a snippy tone We call ourselves A Cs, Gower said quickly Trust me, it s easier And, there are several thousand of us Not all are working as agents, of course All the good alien guys are georgeous, but wait all the good alien girls are georgeous too and are the scientist, and looove smart guys and think her fellow countryman are dumb.The kind of humor feels to me like the tv 60s Really over the top situations with simple solutions The bad guy is called Mephistopheles and is a terrorist hoping to bring chaos.So, comedy style with sex, of course, with tons of orgarms And that she feels atracted to all those yummy men, the slut roll eyes Though I prefer Cristopher and not Jeff.The religion thing feels kind of forced and trying for simpathetic.Not sure I read the next book, despite some loose ends With a name like Touched by an alien , it s no doubt that this book would be hilarious and unconventional, not taking itself seriously Even the blurb was funny, I mean handsome aliens dressed in Armani suits The book delivered lots of laughs, action, romance, andNothing could prepare me for the entertainment that ensued upon reading the book The witty banter alone was incredibly fun, between the Alpha Centaurions or A C s which are all incredibly good looking, smart aliens who are g With a name like Touched by an alien , it s no doubt that this book would be hilarious and unconventional, not taking itself seriously Even the blurb was funny, I mean handsome aliens dressed in Armani suits The book delivered lots of laughs, action, romance, andNothing could prepare me for the entertainment that ensued upon reading the book The witty banter alone was incredibly fun, between the Alpha Centaurions or A C s which are all incredibly good looking, smart aliens who are great in bed and who hold superpowers like extreme empathy When you look at the book as a whole, it s really funny but it definitely doesn t try too hard to be that Kitty is a great heroine with an excellent sense of humour She could win battles just on her quick wit and taste in hard rock music alone Her parents are also an interesting pair, one of which is evenkick ass than her daughter This book wasn t perfect however, with a political and religious agenda explaining why the aliens came to Earth It did confuse me in some parts, but carried on at a fast pace There was heaps of action moving the book at a fast pace, although I was disappointed that the Montblac pen didn t make a reappearance later in the book minor spoiler view spoiler The contrived love triangle was probably something I could have done without, I felt like I was watching another episode of Vampire Diaries again, with the heroine caught between two hunks hide spoiler I definitely enjoyed this title, and will be continuing with the rest of the series This series is definitely underrated, if you want a good, entertaining sci fi romance then pick this up Check out Happy Indulgence forreviews There are three categories of books 1 Some books one reads to improve themselves This is like eating broccoli you may or may not like it, but you know it s good for you.2 Some books one reads because they like them and they happen to be really good books This is like eating strawberries you know you like them and you re pleased it also happens to be good for you.3 Some books one reads specifically because they are trash This is like eating circus peanuts you know you like them and you k There are three categories of books 1 Some books one reads to improve themselves This is like eating broccoli you may or may not like it, but you know it s good for you.2 Some books one reads because they like them and they happen to be really good books This is like eating strawberries you know you like them and you re pleased it also happens to be good for you.3 Some books one reads specifically because they are trash This is like eating circus peanuts you know you like them and you know they have no redeeming qualities to them other than your appreciation of them.Touched by an Alien is definitely falls in the circus peanuts category I have to confess I m not a sci fi fan Not because I don t like the genre, but simply because I have never read any sci fi novel or watched any sci fi movie So when I saw the gorgeous cover of this book at first, I never thought this would be something I would pick up, but then I kept stumbling upon praising reviews of Touched by an Alien and since all the reviews were so unanimous in praising Gini Koch s writing and the novel itself to the skies, I thought I d give sci fi a try and see what T I have to confess I m not a sci fi fan Not because I don t like the genre, but simply because I have never read any sci fi novel or watched any sci fi movie So when I saw the gorgeous cover of this book at first, I never thought this would be something I would pick up, but then I kept stumbling upon praising reviews of Touched by an Alien and since all the reviews were so unanimous in praising Gini Koch s writing and the novel itself to the skies, I thought I d give sci fi a try and see what Touched by an Alien is really about And I have to say I proudly join the ranks of Gini Koch fans and Alien Lovers WOW I was completely blown away by Touched by an Alien I loved it so much that after I have finished it I wanted to pick it up right away and start re reading it, that s how fantastic Touched by an Alien is But let me slow down in my gushing and tell you why you MUST read Touched by an Alien.Where to start Hm..Of course when you read the above blurb you are expecting Kitty to be a somewhat unconventional young woman and you are expecting the novel to be funny, but nothing prepares you to how it will be Touched by an Alien had me chuckling and then laughing out loud from page 3 The dialogues are sharp and incredibly witty, I just started typing that Kitty, Martini and Christopher s one liners and sharp comebacks are hilarious and dead on, but then I started adding to the list Kitty s mom, Mr White, James and I realized I could go on and on because all the characters are hilarious.Kitty is an extraordinary heroine she combats alien monsters with blaring Aerosmith and Tears from Heaven from the stereo, she attacks the biggest monster, Leader of all Evils with hair spray cans and when a huge stinking 12 feet tall scary monster charges towards her, she runs to it at full speed Just a few to demonstrate you that Kitty is a unique heroine, one that the characters in the novel can t decide whether she s crazy or incredibly brave and a genius Then let me tell you about the heroes there are two leading men Christopher and Jeff Martini how cool a name is that And one of the first things Gini Koch establishes early on is that all A Cs the good aliens are incredibly gorgeous the men are total hunks, swoonworthy droolworthy and the women arethan model beautiful So no surprise that both Christopher and Jeff are drop dead gorgeous men specimen and Gini Koch sure made them unique characters.Jeff is the charmer easygoing and funny, constantly smiling and hitting on Kitty from sentence 3, professing his love for her on page 9 and within 30 mins of meeting her he already asks her to marry him and keeps repeating it at regular intervals through the novel But Jeff s pushiness is endearing and funny, not creepy or bullying at all.Christopher is the snarky one he is incredible handsome too, but somehow he and Kitty are like cats and dogs they are always at each other s throats and it takes Kitty s mom or Christopher s dad to make the children behave.So let me tell you, to choose between the two men is hard not only for Kitty but for the reader too, if the romantic in us could get their way we would definitely want a m nage wink What is amazing is that the supporting characters are also well developed and original Kitty s mom and dad, Christopher s dad, Claudia and Lorraine and the human pilots, oh and don t let me start on James Fantastic character development The story is fast paced, action packed, there s never a dull moment in Touched by an Alien.The love sex scenes are done tastefully while still remaining scorchingly hot But let me tell you my absolutely favourite thing in this novel besides the totally hot and passionate love scenes of course it was the humour The incredibly unique, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes dry and biting, but always laugh out loud humour You can t believe the things that come out of Kitty s mouth and what she does to combat the monsters Gini Koch is brilliant because in the midst of a terribly scary scene, when stinking huge jelly snake looking monsters are about to trample kill strangle the characters she simply makes Kitty do or say something, and bam you are laughing instead of while biting your nails Verdict I fell in love with this novel Love Kitty, Martini, Chris and the whole package, love the hilarious interactions, all the passion and humour I could go on and on and tell you about everything I loved in Touched by an Alien but I guess that would be just as long as the novel itself, so trust me, pick up this book and read it, you ll gain a new favourite series and a brilliant new author to definitely watch Alien Tango cannot come out soon enough, I wantps Sorry, I can imagine that in my enthusiasm I was quite rambling and gushing but you will understand it once you read Touched by an Alien Plot 10 10Characters 10 10Ending 10 10Writing 10 10Cover 10 10 UPDATE First read, borrow from my friend, and then I win a signed copy of Touched by an Alien, from the author herself Thanks, Ms Gini Koch You re rock, like Kitty too Actually, I m torn to give this book between 4 and 5 starsLet me seeMy reason why I want to give it 5 stars Katherine Katt, a.k.a Kitty is my kind of heroine She can kick her enemy ass and maybe yours as well And she has a weird kind of humor Oh, don t forget her sarcasm Jeff Martini an Alpha Centaurion ali UPDATE First read, borrow from my friend, and then I win a signed copy of Touched by an Alien, from the author herself Thanks, Ms Gini Koch You re rock, like Kitty too Actually, I m torn to give this book between 4 and 5 starsLet me seeMy reason why I want to give it 5 stars Katherine Katt, a.k.a Kitty is my kind of heroine She can kick her enemy ass and maybe yours as well And she has a weird kind of humor Oh, don t forget her sarcasm Jeff Martini an Alpha Centaurion alien and agent too, wearing Armani suit imagine agent in Men in Black, if you want is sexy, hot, alpha man, an empath that understand people s emotion He s falling in love head over toe to Kitty Want to marry her, want to have kids with her, care about her, get possessive over her. my new boyfriend wink2 The story is full of action, fast paced and humorous I love it and laugh a lot Kitty s parent have a secret And that s really really make Kitty shock when she know it But Kitty still love them Family theme is always the best May I introduce you to Christopher White Jeff s cousin, an Alpha Centaurion alien with good looking He seems to hate Kitty for the first time call her princess, mock her But be patient, after some part, you will know, Christoper s feeling to Kitty is different from what it seen, and it make Jeff Kitty relationship got rocky The story will lack appeal, when the hero and heroine s relationship seems fine And, oh be careful with Christoper s Glare He has various glare From Glare 1 until Glare 5 Kitty has many way to defeat the alien Kill the alien with ballpoint Check Sprout the alien with hairspray Check Confused the enemy with rock n roll music especially Aerosmith Check, check, check forget gun, grenade, tank, jet You can defeat Alien with simple thingsNowMy reason, why I reduce the stars The political and religious aspect, make me confused _ Especially from Alpha Centaurion, but maybe its the way the author used to describe the world in this book There are some event when Kitty looks weak When she supposed to be strong, and sometimes she looks annoying too But I think that s fine Some action scenes in this book make me lost when read it Too fast maybe And sometimes the conversation make me confused too, because there are no explanation, who is talking and who is reply. Lack of Martini scene Yes, I wantMartini, I don t care if the story just about Martini and Kitty just kidding, lol So, I decided to give this book 4 stars But don t worry, this book is good If you agree with my reason to give this book 5 stars and you love science fiction genre and some romance too, you will enjoy this Looking forward for the second book And please, let this book haveMartini s scene Katherine Kitty Katt s Montblanc pen. This is a review of the audiobook Nicely narrated by Romy Nordlinger She is had great pacing and inflection on her voices My only hesitancy, although I love her voice, is it is not how I pictured Kitty s Her voice sounds roughened by whisky poured over jagged rocks, then slowly infused with bar lounge smoke I sped it up to 1.5 speed Good job, though, with the witty dialogue, so I went with it and quite enjoyed her delivery What a Katherine Kitty Katt s Montblanc pen. This is a review of the audiobook Nicely narrated by Romy Nordlinger She is had great pacing and inflection on her voices My only hesitancy, although I love her voice, is it is not how I pictured Kitty s Her voice sounds roughened by whisky poured over jagged rocks, then slowly infused with bar lounge smoke I sped it up to 1.5 speed Good job, though, with the witty dialogue, so I went with it and quite enjoyed her delivery What a fun book Campy, but fun Suspending belief goes hand in hand when one picks up a book like this one, which isn t everyone s cup of tea I loved it, though I suspect this author gets better and better with each book in this series, so I m definitely going to go forward with it Not wild about the love triangle attempt and Ireallywished Kitty had used her Weapon of Choice again her Montblanc pen LOL Hopefully, in a future book Thanks, Sandra, for the rec This book was straight up stupid There was a massive info dump in the beginning, and in the midst of said dump and afterwards as well , there were numerous references to the sexy alien men as hunks and even dreamy to the max on one occasion Dreamyto the maxYEP That happened.There was also slut shaming, and a cartload of other ridiculousness, and just, NO. 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  • Mass Market Paperback
  • 389 pages
  • Touched by an Alien
  • Gini Koch
  • English
  • 17 August 2019
  • 0756406005